Barnes Potter vs Harry Potter
by Woman of looks and substance
Summary: Dumbledore is different than what he would like you to believe. This shows a slightly different old coot.
1. Chapter 1

Albus Dumbledore stood at his desk contemplating the prophesy he had just heard. It had started out as a very great day as he had just went robe shopping with his companion Alastor Moody, they spent ours enjoying eachothers company and kissing under a willow tree each wearing matching gold and scarlet Gyffindor scarfs in an attempt to turn back the clock, they could have spent hours in such a way. It was then that he remebered he had to go to an appointment at the Hogs Head and thats when things went downhill. He had just been interviewing a potential canidate for the vacant divination teaching post at Hogwarts when she as in Sybill Trelawaney went into a trance and spat out the most extordinary prophesy he had ever heard. The prophesy stated that a boy born as the seventh month dies would have the power to vanquish the dark lord Voldemort. This was cause for celebration normally but now Dumbledore had to figure out which boy it is because three boys fit the bill. The first was Neville Longbottom the son of Frank and Alice Longbottom. Despite Neville coming from good stock Dumbledore quickly ruled him out do to the fact that the boy hardly fit the bill of a leader for the light as Frank and Alice were having a hard time keeping him out of girly things as he appeared to be in the wrong body completly wrong for a savior. Dumbledore suspected it was one of the Potter twins Harry and Barnes. Harry and Barnes were the sons of Lily Evans and James Potter two of his favorite students. After much consideration Dumbledore was able to rule out Neville The plan was easy one boy would be declared the savior of th wizarding world and trained as such while boosting the moral of the public, the other Dumbledore would be forced to leave the picture as to not disturb the chosen one as he trains. Now who was it Harry or Barnes.

Harry and Barnes Potter could not be more different as a pair of twins. Harry was tall and slender with jet black hair and was very studius and always had his nose in a book if he didnt already know he was going to Hogwarts his dream would be either to attend Harvard or Duquesne in the United States. Barnes on the other hand had bright red hair and was extremely fat as he hated both excersise and education his favorite hobby was bullying people but he always left Harry alone for the fact that Harry would somehow get him back for it. James and Lily tried to the good in both boys but there just was nothing really good to say about Barnes but Harry was definetly a prodigy in the making.

Dumbledore was so excited as he made his way into Godrics Hollow to tell them the good news after five years of debating he had finally come to the conclusion on who was the chosen one. One six year old tonight would take the beakon of the light and the other well Dumbledore did not care what happened to him as it was all for the greater good. Despite having met with both boys and being immensly impressed with the pure power that Harry possesed he had to rule him out for the simple reason that Harry was three minutes older than Barnes and the prophesy stated as the seventh month dies so he had to be as precise as possible, besides Harry and his powerful magical core were all things Riddle had and the prophesy stated a power he knows not. Barnes who did not really show much potential was alot more likely to be possesing a power the Dark Lord knows not the power of suprise may conquer all! After being warmly greeted by the Potters he began to tell them. He told them Barnes was destined to rid the world of Lord Voldemort and that Harry was a bad influence. Although Dumbledore did find Harry to be a bright and great child he was now a liability and for the greater good must be disposed,it was easy to convince the Potters as they always accept his word without question. An hour later Barnes and Harry were seated in front of Lily and James as Dumbledore had just left. Lily started "Boys, professor Dumbledore was just here and explained that one of you will save the world and do you know that is you Barnes" Barnes looked up suprised "ke"? he asked , at age six he could still barely speak English. "Yes you sport" said James, "I always knew you were special it appears Harry has just been holding you back" Harry looked on shocked as he had always tried to teach Barnes and help him in any way as a sort of brotherly obligation but now that Barnes was the chosen one he was being acused of holding him back. "I tried to help teach him" said Harry coldly. Barnes started crying but shot Harry a nasty grin as he began to lie "Harry said I will never be as smart as him" "Dumbledore is the one who brought it to our attention" said Lily "Im going to do something that should have been done a long time ago" said James as Sirius arrived with a bag of enchanted belts "today youll get a beating for what youve done tommorow this place will not be your home" Harry couldnt believe it he loved his family and until today he thought they loved him too. Since Dumbledore proclaimed Barnes the savior they began acting like psycos. Dumbledore must have said something to bring this onwhy else would he go from a loved son to an evil freak in just an hour. He would never forgive them .He would have his revenge especially against Barnes afterall he did for him he would lie about him. "I hate you" were the last words Harry said to James and Lily as they dropped him off at the orphanage.

Meanwhile back in his office Dumbledore felt a little bad for convincing James and Lily to disown their son in such a way but Barnes Potter needed trained with no competition. Tommorow would be a stressful but exciting day as he would be going to give a press confrence and in doing so hope to lure Voldemort to his demise perhaps he then wouldnt need to train the boy aterall and he could reunite the Potter twins and undue his wrong. Dumbledore went to bed and snuggled into Alastor never relising that history could be repeating itself.

A week later Barnes Potter survived the killing curse after Remus Lupin laid down his life for him. James and Lily were on a date and Lupin was babysitting. The killing curse rebounded on Voldemort but because it was a werewolf who enacted the sacrifise protection charm it canceled out all of Voldemorts horcruxes. Voldemort was dead Barnes Boyle Potter was a hero to the wizarding world and thought to be the reincarnate of Merlin although anybody who knew the boy knew he was going to be an average wizard at best. The next day Dumbledore appoligized and tried to explain to the Potters his reasons for having them get rid of Harry. James and Lily felt a little ashamed that they treated there son in such a manner afterall they were rather proud of him when Dumbledore said at his birth that he could eventually become an elight wizard and he never misbehaved but they also knew that Dumbledore had good intentions at heart when he did what he did. Eventually he was forgivin and asked to accompany the Potters to retrieve Harry. It was a fairly easy stroll. But there was one problem Harry Potter and the rest of the orphanage were destroyed one week ago.

One Week Earlier

Harry had not been at the orphanage long before he began to really hate it. His parents who abandoned him had went against Voldemort who wanted to harm muggles but Harry could see why they were stupid selfish swines who needed to be rained in like cattle. Harry heard an explosion outside and the sound of intense manical laghter. Going around the corner Harry saw the woeman with dark hair and a crazy face wrecking the orphnage.

Bellatrix Lestrange was distraught to hear of the death of her master so in memorial she would destroy a place that held much misery for him. As she watched the place fall apart she began to think about her life as her husband had been murderered by her cousin Serious and then her master met his end to Barnes Potter. It wasthen that she relised she was being watched she looked on to see a pair of beutiful Avada Kedavra eyes belonging to a boy with jet black hair. "Are you Bellatrix" the boy asked in a voice free of fear but instead had something close to facsination in it and it was quite uncanny and deeply intrigued Bellatrix. "I am it appears you are no muggle you are not the first wizard to come through here the last was the greatest ever" said Bellatrix with a hint of deep sadness in her voice. "I know the Dark Lord came through here my name is Harry Potter and before you start I hate the savages that until last week were my parents so dont hold that against me I hate Dumbledore and the entire light side I can not help who I am related to just like you cant help being related to Sirius Black" said Harry. The whole time Bellatrix couldnt help but be impressed he reminded her of the Dark Lord as he would have been like at that age. It took only a few seconds but Bellatrix decided then and there that this child would be hers and eventually complete the noble mission that the dark lord had started. From that time on Bellatrix and Harry left Great Britan for Boblingon Germany where Bellatrix owned a home. Harry would be trained in the dark arts and attend Durmstrang. But like many people who leave their homeland they have a way of returning.

Meanwhile

Barnes Potter becsme a household name in the time after the fall of Voldemort. Many would go on to believe that rather than a stroke of luck that Barnes somehow outclassed Voldemort. Dumbledore himself fuled these lies to deter any dark wizard in waiting from trying anything unless they wished to meet the same end as Voldemort. Through Barnes Potters first three years of Hogwarts he flaunted the fact that he defeated Voldemort and strutted around the castle as if he owned it. It did not help that the professors except for Professor Snape repeatedly bent the rules for their famous student. Barnes's best friend was Ronald Weasley they intially became friends through Dumbledore but quickly found out that they shared similar intrests which were eating and bullying people when no one was around to boost their self esteem. His favorite line was " no one will believe you I am the wizarding savior" Some of Barnes and Ron's favorite targets were the bookworm Hermione Granger and the transgeder Nevosa Longbottom. They internally hated Hermione for being smarter than them. Barnes saw it as "stealing his glory" As for Nevosa they were annoyed by for the fact that "she" thought just because they were in the same house that they would help her ask out Draco Malfoy whom they had hated sinse day one as he was a cocky pretty boy. Every year however the headmaster would ensure that Gryffindor would take the house cup by giving Barnes two hundred points for things like demonstrating adequete hygiene. Despite being very out of shape Barnes did inherit his fathers skills on the quiddich pitch he as the right of the savior was permitted on the team as a first year won all nine of their games catching nine snitches. Barnes Potter enjoyed being an only child although he knew he had a twin who disappered but that did not matter having a sibling would only cause him to lose glory Barnes thought. James and Lily did not know what happned to Harry and it became their biggest regret as he was so polite unlike Barnes but know one could know how they treated Harry as they would lose alot of respect, eventually they resolved to take teaching posts at Hogwarts for Barnes fourth year they were also looking forward to watching the triwizard tournament.

Meanwhile

Harrison Black formerly Harry Potter under the tulage of his adopted mother Bellatrix Black quickly became the greatest student to enter Durmstrang he had already as a fourth year skipped four grades and had already graduated. But he was still elgiable due to his age fourteen to enter the triwizard tournament so after signing a contract he would become the only person to go to England to represent Durmstrang. And hopefully then he will get achance at revenge agaist all those that wronged him especially Barnes Potter.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I don't own HP

Barnes Potter and his best friend Ronald Weasley sat in their compartment surrounded by their admireers and fellow fourth years on their way to Hogwarts. The admiration was mostly for Barnes Boyle Potter the boy who lived Ronald just got the recognition for being his best friend. Everything in Barnes Potter's life was handed to him on a silver platter and he enjoyed it as it was not just his parents who spoiled him, but everyone else also. He was popular just for his fame while there were those such as the Slytherins who hated him because Albus Dumbledore would always have Gryffindor win the house cup by adding ridicules amounts of points at the end of term for what he called "just a small thank you for delivering us from the evil of Voldemort", but this year Dumbledore had not given Barnes the usual birthday present of books in which he would never read, he had given him power. He remembered Dumbledore had waited until all of the guests from his party had left before he approached him "Barnes, I am getting older and as the leader of the light it is my responsibility to groom a successor to lead the light in the future and that my son will be you" said Dumbledore his eyes twinkling madly. All Barnes could do was nod before Dumbledore continued, "First we must make you a functional member of wizarding society and that entitles getting married I will give you a choice Ronald or Ginerva?" said Dumbledore scratching his crotch uncontrollably. "Sir, I am not gay so I will marry Ginny as we are already dating" said Barnes with a shudder. "Good, now onto my next order of business we must gain you respect therefore I have set up with my connections the resumption of the Tri Wizard tournament in which a student from Beouxbatons, Durmstrang, and Hogwarts will all compete. Now I will rig the cup to select you as champion of Hogwarts and then you will win as I will be helping you along the way! So when I go on the next great adventure I will know the wizarding world is in good hands" said Dumbledore

Barnes, along with Ronald and Ginny were unsurprised to hear of the tournament at the feast they were already planning on how to spend Harry's allowance. James and Lily were the co DADA teachers this year which gave Barnes two more professors to spoil him. The only Professor who hated him and saw him for what he was, was Snape but Dumbledore allowed him to skip that class. While all the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff students loved him it seemed the educated and intelligent Slytherin and Ravenclaw students hated him with a passion it appeared they could see through him. At least he was good at quiddich, but really he was lousy at everthing else.

The arrival

Barnes sneered when he saw all the students submitting their names as if they had a chance! Barnes and Ronald began trash talking the Beuxbatons students when Durstrang arrived with one student. Barnes laughed "Oh look, big bad Durmstang is scared only one student came" The single student ignored it and soon it was off to the selection.

The selection

The Champion of Beuxbatons is Fleur Delecluer

The Champion of Hogwarts is Barnes Potter

The champion of Durmstang is Harrison Black


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I don't own Harry Potter

As the three champions were named the Great Hall became a frenzy of whispering voices. Dumbledore stood up "Now that we have the best students selected let us all wish them good luck in the coming months and make sure we give Mr. Potter a homefield advantage eh" said Dumbledore his eyes lingering on the betrayed look of the Hufflepuff table whose occupants felt Cedric Diggory was the deserving winner. Barnes Potter's selection appeared undeserved to everyone not in Gryffindor. Hufflepuff had joined the Ravenclaw's and Slytherin's in seeing Barnes Potter to be exactly what he was, a no good fake.

Meanwhile in the Champions chambers

Barnes Potter strutted in the chamber along with the French chick and that Black from Durmstrang. It was time to give a show of force. He was after all undefeated at quiddich and had been on the Hogwarts duel team where Dumbledore coached him, to becoming already a four time British junior duel finalist and two time champion. His record at dueling was 38-2 his only two losses occurred in the finals in his first year to a seventh year bloke from a school in Wales, and the other was in the finals before third year when the dueling committee had grown tired of his boasting and had asked a kid from Durmstang to enter just to silence Potter, the kid was the same age as Potter so age wouldn't be a factor. The kid had only taken 8 seconds to put Barnes into submission. Barnes Potter much to the annoyance of the committee had regained his title after the defending had decided not to defend his title in preparation for the Tri Wizard cup. Barnes saw Harrison Black up close and immediately took out his wand. "You I should have known, I will get you back for the finals" Harrison just smirked.

Harrison Black listened to Barnes go on. It was amazing what a DNA potion keyed to Bellatrix could do in having your own brother not recognize you. He remembered a year ago when the dueling committee had hired him to dethrone their own champion, originally he was not interested until they mentioned whom they were referring to and Barnes jumped at the chance. He was not aiming to kill as that would come later, but instead he had liquefied his organs and Dumbledore was forced to have Barnes submit to save his life. Harrison noticed Barnes was still screaming "You are not even British, if it wasn't for you I would already have three titles instead of two" Harrison laughed he remembered wishing him dead but it was his adopted mother Bellatrix who instilled in him to make his life hell first and that was the meaning of this little trip. "You arse I bet you would be in Slytherin if you were here" screamed Barnes. "Oh, I hope so as I am well versed in your school and it sounds like the best house" said Harrison smugly. Just then Dumbledore dismissed them back to their quarters.

The next morning

Barnes came into the great hall holding the hand of an ugly red head girl that Harrison heard was called the Ginny Pig as if he was showing off to Harrison. Barnes Potter's grin turned sour when he saw Harry in the company of the beautiful Slytherin ice queen Daphne Greengrass. He did not have time to retort as at that moment Ginny pig whisked him away and Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement. "Now settle down. Now through new rules the students and teachers from the other schools that are not champion will now leave as the champions will be sorted into Hogwarts houses. This is to ensure fairness that all champions have identical resourses as Hogwarts will not give special privalages to our champion" said Dumbledore winking to Barnes who shot a nasty grin at Harrison who rolled his eyes. "Now for the sorting" said Dumbledore glaring at Harrison angered that this little shit had angered his prize pupil, yet there was something off about him that Dumbledore would have to investigate. The beuxbatons champion was hastily sorted into Hufflepuff. Next it was Harrison's turn and soon the sorting hat proclaimed him to be with his girlfriend Daphne Greengrass in Slytherin. He was cunning and resourceful as a Slytherin would be and he already had friends in Slytherin: Draco Malfoy, Tracy Davis and Blaise Zabini. The Slytherin house suited him as he rembered how he met Daphne. It was as soon as he had left the chambers after his first confrontation with Barnes when a beautiful green eyed dark haired which had tapped him on the shoulder he immediately was startled but relaxed seeing such a nice youn woman. "I'm Daphne and I recognize you from the duels I was happy to see you take Potter down a couple notches hopefully this time you will finish him and I will even help" said Daphne with a grin. "I may take you up on that but I plan to make him want to be no more before he becomes no more" said Harrison "perhaps that is where you help". It was in Harrison's opinion a storybook romance as they shared so many interests it was a match made in heaven. It motivated him to want to make Barnes Potter really squirm!

The classes at Hogwarts were easy especially for Harrison whom had already graduated from Durstrang. He had origianally appealed to the Headmaster to be in advanced classes but it had fallen on deaf ears so he was stuck doing third year work, at least he was with Daphne. On his was to DADA he noticed Daphne was not with him, he only saw Barnes Potter smirking at him. It was then he heard muffled screaming coming from the closet and saw Daphne emerge covered in blood. Upon seeing Harry she smirked holding Ronald Weasley's removed manhood and tossed it into Barnes Potter's shocked open mouth.

Dumbledore along with the Weasley's and Potter's had tried to have Daphne expelled but under veriteserum it was revealed that Ronald was attempting to harm Daphne so the charges would be mutually dropped. Ronald had his tool reattached by Dumbledore as Madam Pomphery refused to heal such a person who would try to harm a student and she told Daphne she would have done the same thing. Harrison had already planned a very special revenge for Ronald.

The transgender Nevosa Longbottom was exited. She had not had much luck dating for the fact she still had facial hair and a round boy like frame. But she got a love potion in the mail keyed to Ronald Weasley from an unknown sourse. Finally, her chance to have a boyfriend and the best friend of Barnes Potter to boot it was a dream come true.

The great hall was in a buzz with the rumor that Nevosa Longbottom and Ronald Weasley were going out. It gave the Slytherin's great pleasure in seeing Barnes Potter yelling across the great hall acussing them of the mishap. Dumbledore had already tried reading their minds but hey were all skilled occlumens and he did not get much. Fred and George Weasley refused to sit near Ronald and so did Ginny which in turn caused Barnes to abandon Ronald his best friend. It was a fairly productive morning thought Harrison as he sipped his coffee.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I don't own HP

The weighing of the wands.

After attending all of his classes for the day it was time to have his wand inspected. AS Harrison made his way up the stairs he reflected on the fact despite the classes being really easy he liked Hogwarts. He had made many friends in the Slytherin house even with the older students. Marcus Flint had even said he could have the position of seeker on the quiddich team as long as he was here since his good buddy Draco Malfoy had grown 6 inches and gained thirty pounds and decided to move to chaser. Harrison liked the idea of blemishing the perfect quiddich record of Barnes Potter after he already took a title at the national duels off of him. Harrison, at the end of the year decided he would since he already graduated way early from Durmstrang, would enroll full time at Hogwarts starting at the conclusion of the tournament. However, until then, he would represent Durmstang in the tournament. Finally, he arrived, but before he could go in he was pulled aside by Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore put a grandfatherly smile on his face and said "I know what family the Black's are with the exception of the great Sirius, please don't give me a reason to distrust you" said Dumbledore his eyes calculating Harrison's every move with shrewd caution. Harrison snorted at him mentioning Sirius was the only good Black when he beat him in his past life as Harry Potter when Barnes was anointed savior of the wizarding world with those enchanted belts. Harrison simply stepped into the room and gave Fleur a smile and ignored Barnes who was glaring daggers at him. Mr. Olivander first grabbed Fluer's wand and explained it was a core of vela hair which Fleur happily confirmed stating it was from her grandmother. Next Olivander examined Barnes with enthusiasm stating that the Holly and Phoenix creation was a brother wand to Voldemort before Dumbledore jumped in and explained that it meant Barnes had a chance to become the most powerful wizard in the world one day. Upon hearing this Harrison snorted which earned him a glare from Dumbledore. Finally, it was time for Harrison to submit his wand. Ollivander took the wand and upon holding it nearly fainted, "A combination I thought I would never see again, yew and phoenix, but this phoenix feather is from what is called the dark phoenix which resembles a normal phoenix if you can call them normal, except they are black and much more sinister as they are man eaters" said Olivander shakily. Harrison smirked Bellatrix had taken him to Gregorvich to make a wand to resemble that of his idol Lord Voldemort in which he asked to make the wand even more menacing than Voldemort by using the dark phoenix. Dumbledore was glaring with absolute hate at Harrison in which Harrison ignored. Soon it was time for interviews with the notorious Rita Skeeter. First, they had the picture in which Barnes was made the focal point. Harrison was shunted into the corner which was fine with him.

Rita Skeeter, wanted to interview all of the champions she stated with Barnes which took a good ninety minutes, then Fluer only five minutes before going to Harrison. "Now you know you are the third choice in both popularity and betting how does that make you feel" "I don't care about popularity, but I am a little confused why Barnes is the as you put it the "overwhelming" favorite to win this tournament when I crushed him at national duels last year"said Barnes with a raised eyebrow. "Well check on that, and I will let the betmakers know as they overlooked that. This will make a great story the headline can read Barnes Potter already tasted the scorn of his competition perfect" said Rita now beaming at Harrison who smirked as he got an idea not only to give himself a good name but mainly to destroy the public image of Barnes Potter, "I can help you get some dirt on Potter anytime you want if you don't dislose my name and portray me and Fluer in a positive light" Rita agreed and the seeds were set! 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It was three hours before the first task was set to kick off and Barnes Potter had just left the headmasters office with a confident and determined demeanor. He would show the world that he deserved to be the favorite in this tournament. That Black punk was just a pretender in his opinion that got lucky in a duel, but was about to learn his place and that was kneeling at the feet of the boy who took down Voldemort. The latest article by Rita Skeeter had slightly damaged his reputation as it depicted him as a spoiled loudmouth who has everything in life handed to him on a platter. Barnes would get extremely upset at this for he had in four appearances at the British duel championships reached the final all four times with two titles and two runner-up finishes, one of which to Harrison Black. But today was a new day and he would have his revenge as he and Professor Dumbledore had been training for the task of Dragons with Dumbledore already being a judge and using blackmail on Madam Maxime, threatening to tell the public about her giant heritage had secured two perfect tens not counting Bagman who tipped Potter to win, so three tens in the bag before he even stepped into the arena!

Dumbledore was whistling a merry tune as he pranced around in his office with his boyfriend Alastor "MadEye" Moody, he had just finished teaching Barnes Potter all he needed to win the first task. It was crucial that Potter wins this tournament so when Dumbledore himself embarks on the next great adventure as he liked to call it, the wizarding world would already have a leader with an established reputation to deter future dark lords from rising. It was for this reason that Dumbledore had been tutoring Potter and resurrected the tri-wizard tournament all to give Potter the prestige that was fitting of a leader of the light. Barnes under Dumbledore's coaching in the British duel championships was just the fifth person to reach the final in all of their first four years after Flitwick, Snape, Riddle, and Dumbledore himself, although all of those four went on to win all seven years they were eligiable, Barnes Potter could not do this as he had been narrowly beaten in the finals in his first year by a seventeen year old and lost in his third year to the competitor from Durmstrang, but he could still join the likes of Kingsley Shaklebolt and Minerva McGonagall as five time champions. It was Harrison Black that Dumbledore concluded would be the biggest threat to Barnes winning after beating Barnes in that duel. Dumbledore remembered to relief he felt when Black stated he would not defend his title at the British duel championships in preparation for the tournament, it meant Barnes coasted to the title and regained some respect after his humiliation at the hands of Black. Dumbledore tried having Black kicked out citing the fact he had already graduated early but his age of 14 allowed him to compete, so Dumbledore forced a rule making the champions all integrate into Hogwarts for the tournaments so he could keep an eye on him.

Harrison sneered at Barnes who was bragging on knowing what the first task was, Harrison briefly upset him when he asked how his friend and Nevosa Longbottom were doing. It was known to everyone that Potter's best friend was dating the unsightly Nevosa. All of his classes were easy and through his knowledge he had propelled Slytherin into the house cup lead by a considerable margin. But he had heard that every year Dumbledore would always add just enough points to give Gryffindor the cup. Harrison did make the quiddich team as seeker despite having never played as he wanted to hack away at the perfect undefeated record that Barnes had on the quiddich pitch. James and Lily had tried to under Dumbledore's orders give him a hard time in class but were unable too as Snape had threated to report it to the ministry if they tried. Soon it was time to start. Fluer and Harry who became friends drew the Welch Green and Hungarian Horntail respectively while Barnes drew the Fireball before forcing the committee of the tournament to save him for last as he was the main event at which Harrison and Fleur snorted earning a glare from Dumbledore.

Harrison found it interesting as he heard Fluer called forward that Bagman was announcing everyones accomplishements. Fluer as he found out was a broom racing champion and a six time French duels champion and in a couple of months would try to become the first person to win in all seven eligible years. Fluer completed her task in twenty-eight minutes in which she transfigured the dragon into a cat. She received all 9 and 10 scores except from Dumbledore who gave a measly three. Next Harrison was announced he was announced as a four time German duels champion who could in three years become the second person to win the German title all seven eligible years, the first being Grindelwald. He was also mentioned as having won the British title in his lone appearance which earned a boo from the Gryffindor stands. As soon as Harrison stepped in he took out his wand and summoned the egg which earned him a perfect score for there is a little known clause which states a champion receives all 10's if a task is completed in under a minute. Barnes Potter stepped in last and instead of doing the guaranteed perfect score of summoning the egg showed of his quiddich skills. Dumbledore had blackmailed enough to get Potter second place.

First Task winner Harrison Black calls judges Biased

By Rita Skeeter

Harrison Black of Durmstrang won the opening task in no time at all but will not get to put a repeat effort as he has been suspended from the second task for criticizing Dumbledore of manipulating the rules and judges to help Barnes Potter. "I knew I had to use the clause for perfect points or else I Would have gotten a bad score no matter how perfect I was, so I am glad I was able win" When asked about if he was impressed by the performance of Barnes Potter he laughed "I mean please he flew around for an hour avoiding his dragon which was the weakest in the field by far and he still got hit. Fluer should have come in second her performance was flawless and efficient and Dumbledore gave her a three really? Barnes got a ten come on" This reporter notes that Black makes a fair point and would like to see the matter investigated and have Black reinstated into the field.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Harrison Black couldn't have cared less about being suspended from the second task, as the results really didn't matter, what mattered was winning the third task as the first two were just to help set you up for the third. Harrison had been concerned for the past couple weeks in learning how to play seeker for Slytherin. He hoped it was as easy to learn as his favorite sport tennis in which Harrison had an awesome forehand that translated well on clay courts and a fearsome net game on grass. Harrison would be hoping to change Hogwarts history by becoming the first seeker to defeat Barnes Potter, who had caught the snitch nine times in nine games.

The day of the match brought upon windy conditions and cool temperatures in the mid-forties. Gryffindor had won the last three cups thanks to Barnes never having missed the snitch. But Draco Malfoy had told Harrison that he had been close a few times to usurping the red head and believed Harrison to be the one who would put an end to the streak. Gryffindor had a strong team in all but the keeper position. Ronald Weasley had replaced Oliver Wood and had been described as a lousy keeker whom only made the team after his best friend whined to the headmaster. The rest was strong and outmatched Flint's squad. The unknown variable was seeker as nobody knew about Harrison's ability on a broom. Nevertheless, Gryffindor was expected to win despite Ronald's struggles and many were looking ahead to the Ravenclaw game.

The Slytherin team was comprised of all seventh years except for Harrison and Draco whom were both fourth years. As they waited for Lee Jordan to announce them he rolled his eyes at the antics of one Barnes Potter who was visible in the adjoining locker room kicking lockers as to intimidate the Slytherin team. Slytherin would be announced first as to save the golden boy for last. Lee Jordan was now on his loudspeaker "The Slytherin team led by Marcus Flint followed by Bole, Derrick, Scathrat, Bozki, Draco Malfoy interestingly is obviously afraid of losing yet again to the undefeated Barnes Potter as Durmstrang guest Harrison Black will be the brave soul to challenge the mighty Potter" said Lee Jordan making no effort to conceal his disdain for Slytherin and pride for his own house of Gryffindor. "And now for the three time defending champion Gryffindor led by captain Johnson, Spinnett, Bell, Weasley, Weasley, Ronald Weasley who replaces the great Oliver Wood and yes the unbeaten and seemingly unstoppable Barnes Boyle Potter!" Harrison drowned out Lee Jordan's speech and just concentrated on the task at hand and that was taking another accolade away from Barnes Boyle Potter his former brother.

Meanwhile

Albus Dumbledore was hopping on his desk in his office listening to the new record by his favorite magical band the Tisdale Magic Mice he happily sung along "Your eyes reek of pies and I won the prize of magic" due to their rather unflattering lyrics Albus Dumbledore may have been their only fan. It was then he remembered he had to watch Barnes beat the snot out of that Black kid on the Quiddich pitch. He got dressed and hurried out the door.

On the pitch Barnes rammed Harrison upon takeoff but was shocked to see Harrison was unaffected. The game was back and forth as the chasers for Gryffindor had to make sure they scored often and early to make up for Ronald's inefficiently blocking the goal posts. After thirty minutes the score was already 170-140 in favor of Gryffindor, but neither Barnes nor Harrison had seen any sign of the snitch. Later as the score escalated to 360-320 Gryffindor both Barnes and Harrison were amazed to see a snitch on the other side of the pitch Harrison saw it first and had a half second lead when Barnes rammed him, but instead of falling off he remained balnced and caught the snitch ending the undefeated streak of Barnes Potter as planned and elevating Slytherin to a 470-360 win. The crowd was in disbelief, Dumbledore's eyes were blazing in anger at having another great accomplishment by the future leader of the light snatched away, James Potter looked to be agony, Lily Potter was holding back tears, Colin and Dennis Creevy were shocked to see their hero come up short, Snape and the rest Slytherins were jumping for joy at seeing the arrogant Potter beaten. Barnes Potter stormed off the pitch without waiting for his team and ignoring anybody who attempted to talk to him. Harrison Black was happily carried off the pitch!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Barnes Potter furiously rushed into the locker room following the first defeat he had ever known as Gryffindor seeker. To lose to Harrison Black infuriated him. Couldn't Black stay out of his life, he had already taken a dueling title off of him, beaten him in the first task, and now destroyed his perfect quiddich mark, Barnes had never even done anything to him, or so he thought!

Harrison and Daphne along with the entire house celebrated the win as if the cup was already won. Harrison had already scheduled an interview with Skeeter to discuss the match. "Hey Daphne want to go rub it in a little" Harry and Daphne waited right moment in which every Gryffindor would be asleep, since they lost for the first time in four years it would likely be pretty early. When all the pieces were in place Harrison took out his wand and shrank the picture of the fat lady and slipped it in his pocket.

Upon returning to the Slytherin common room Harry and Daphne slipped up into Harrisons room (Harrison has his own private room for being a guest) and took out the fat lady and got to work. Harrison grinned down at the shaken and pale looking fat lady "Now you know it is very rude of you Ms. Fat Lady to be the one starting all the tension you do between the lions and the snakes. You engrain a system of hate that is unnecessary between the houses by telling all who will listen that we here in Slytherin are evil, and creating evil snake passwords. There is no law for violence against paintings, the room is soundproof for other reasons but today it will be to muffle your inevitable screams. Good day my lovely girlfriend Daphne will give you your punishment. You see we have mastered the painting transfer charm where we can join you in your frame for hours at a time, so I will turn you over to Daphne." Daphne activated the charm and soon she joined the fat lady holding a rather large pair of plyers. "Now open wide" said Daphne with a light giggle as the fat lady screamed "Perfect but you didn't need to scream as Harrison said the room is sound proof" After Daphne finished the fat lady's dental procedure Harrison wiped her memory and returned her to her spot on the entrance to the tower. As they left Daphne chuckled "I did her a favour now she can lose weight" Harrison laughed. The next morning the inhabitants were shocked to find the fat lady to have empty gums and teeth littering the bottom of her frame.

Barnes Potter could not have care less about the fat lady he had a recurring thought that was starting to take hold and that was that Harrison Black reminded him of someone from long ago. But he just didn't know who. Anyway he had a busy month up ahead with training for the second task even though it was not until February, and playing Ravenclaw before the yule ball.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Albus Dumbledore may have been upset about Barnes's failures as of late in regards to Harrison Black but that did not mean he could not enjoy music by his favorite band the Tisdale Magic Mice to drown out the pain. He happily sung along, "You are the smoked in smoked ham mister goblin". Dumbledore felt the band did not get a fair shake from the media. But Dumbledore had bigger problems facing him, as of last night he had lost one of his most prestigious title positions, the Chairman of the International Confederation of Wizards. This was due to Harrison Black making an appearance at the meeting and showing his letter of suspension for the second task. The committee immediately removed Dumbledore for "child endangerment because the goblet will take the life of a participant whom did not compete", Although Dumbledore knew this and would not have minded Harrison dying to help out his prodigy Barnes, he had hoped Harrison would have appealed directly to him where Dumbledore would be able to set the conditions, as he had initially planned on reinstating Harrison but not having his score count, now, however Harrison was back in and Dumbledore was out of an important rule. Dumbledore grabbed another glass and pretended to sing into it once more.

Harrison was having a great month, he had won the first task, beaten Barnes at quiddich, and weakened Dumbledore's iron tight grip and influence on the wizarding world outside of Great Britain. He knew he could not be suspended as the goblet prevented that but he conveniently waited to have the right audience before pursuing that endeavor and the result was worth it.

Barnes Potter rebounded after his defeat to Harrison Black to defeat Ravenclaw in their game, he once again caught the snitch much to the delight of the Gryffindor spectators and put Gryffindor back in the hunt. The Slytherin Hufflepuff game was important in putting the Lions back in contention, but unfortunately Slytherin won that game also. Barnes along with Dumbledore had nullified the love potion that Ronald had keyed to the transgender Nevosa Longbottom and he now was dating Lavender Brown thanks to the popularity of being the Boy who lived best henchman.

Aberforth Dumbledore was a little apprehensive at the task at hand that his brother Albus had assigned him. "Now you must kill Daphne Greengrass for the greater good, she and Black are dating and if she were to die Harrison would not want to participate therefore dying, besides she is a dirty Slytherin which is a small price to pay for the greater good" said Dumbledore in a gentle voice with his eyes twinkling madly. As Aberforth approached the Slytherin common room in the dungeons he could be forgiven for not seeing the solitary figure watching him and reading his mind.

The next day

Dumbledore was in this office enjoying some good music when an owl dropped of a rather large and damp package. As Dumbledore opened it he saw the shock of a lifetime, his brother Aberforth folded to fit into the box. Attached was a small plastic bag containing his removed teeth. All Dumbledore could do was weep.


	9. Halloween Horrors

Chapter 9

I don't own Harry Potter

Halloween Horrors

Harrison spent the day of Halloween reading a book while accompanied by Daphne in front of the fireplace in the Slytherin common room. All classes had been cancelled as today was the anniversary of the fall of Lord Voldemort. Dumbledore had tried to remain cheery but he was still somber at the brutal death of his younger brother Aberforth. He knew Black had something to do with it, but to accuse him would require him to reveal his intentions of that night. So instead Dumbledore would simply have to remain at his current task of helping Barnes achieve great things. What disturbed Dumbledore was like the portrait of the fat lady all of Abe's teeth were savagely ripped out. Upon closer examination he determined that Aberforth was also missing his stomach.

Harrison was walking down to the Great Hall with Daphne for the Halloween feast when he saw something that surprised him. There were two boys standing over a girl, and Harrison assumed their intentions based on the lust in their eyes. With a quick flick of the wrist be bound both boys and vanished them to his private room to deal with later. He looked down at the bushy haired girl "I hope those buffoons were not troubling you". The girl was obviously relieved at being saved but intimidated at looking at the mysterious Harrison Black. "I'm not your enemy, only if you cross me will I harm you", said Harrison offering his hand to help Hermione Granger to his feet. Hermione had finally had a friend!

After a day of celebrating and ignoring the boasting of Barnes, Harrison decided to return to his room/workshop and teach a lesson in manners. When Harrison entered he saw the two boys exactly where he left them. He looked at their name cards "Ernie Macmillan and Zacharias Smith", his voice seemed to wake them. "Hey Black you better let us go or else" sneered Macmillan. "Or else what", said Harrison raising his eyebrow. "In case you haven't notice you are in a soundproof environment after attempting to harm Ms. Granger" said Harrison. Both boys were shouting obscenities at Harrison who ignored them while he looked through his tool chest. Finally, he removed a dagger and with one quick fluid slash sliced off Ernie's ear.

Justin Finch Fletchley was skipping down the hallway on his way to the library to finish his Potion essay when he saw the most frightening thing he had ever seen. The mutilated bodies of two of his fellow Hufflepuff housemates hung like puppets from the ceiling. With the word "Happy Halloween" carved on their faces.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I don't own Harry Potter

Albus Dumbledore's day went from bad to worse in a matter of seconds. Minister Cornelius Fudge had placed him on probation due to allowing a serial killer in Hogwarts to be undetected. Dumbledore had tried telling them it was Harrison Black who was responsible for the deaths of not only Macmillan and Smith, but also his brother Aberforth. The minister would not listen to reason, and for that Dumbledore would have to eliminate Fudge, who had outlived his usefulness as a puppet for the greater good. It was time for Albus to take the job that he had declined so many times, he would become minister. But Dumbledore knew the real power resided in the walls of Hogwarts, so he would need a puppet to lead Hogwarts in the way he saw fit, and he knew he knew the perfect individual to carry on his legacy at Hogwarts but first he needed a plan.

Harrison sat at the Slytherin table enjoying a doughnut with Daphne when Barnes Potter came over accompanied by his lackey Ronald. "Did you read the paper Black?" asked Barnes in an annoying sing song voice that caused many members of the Slytherin table to cringe. Harrison ignored him which caused Ronald to get extremely mad and instinctively reach for Daphne's throat in an attempt to strangle her, but before he could do anything Harrison saw Daphne point her wand between Ronald's legs and say softly so only Harrison could hear, "Sectemsempra", Harrison cringed when he saw Ronald's robes dampen and his attachment slide down his pant leg into his boot. "There is no reattachment and I can not get into trouble for self- defense" smirked Daphne, while the rest of the school wondered what exactly had happened. Barnes dragged Ronald to the hospital wing, but there was nothing they could do Ronald had lost his manhood.

Meanwhile, while Ronald was coping with his loss Harrison could feel the glares of the two Potter professors but ignored them and picked up the newspaper, he was surprised that the old coot Dumbledore had not made an appearance but the reason became clear as he read the newspaper.

_**Conelius Fudge assassinated in Wizangamot session **_

By Rita Skeeter

_Last night in front of a packed house in the Wizangamot Minister for Magic Cornelius Oswald Fudge was assainated by Gildroy Lockhart, who we all know is the famous author of many adventure novels. Upon his death Albus Dumbledore was immediately nominated to fill the position and for the first time accepted. Lockhart would be administered truth serum to explain why he did this and he claimed he was under the imperius curse but before he could inform the investigators of who administrated the curse he suffered the dementors kiss._

The article was full of Dumbledore and quotes on "getting through these tough time" and grieving for Fudge. Harrison was sure Dumbledore cast the curse and had Lockhart kissed before he divulged his dirty hand in the incident. At least the muggle loving fool was not here anymore. Interestingly enough, he had named Sirius Black the famous auror as headmaster. He was the of course a big target for both Bellatrix and Harrison. But that would have to wait for another day!

Barnes was now officially mad, he had appealed to his parents, the new headmaster, and Minister Dumbledore, but to no avail in his attempt to expel Greengrass for castrating his friend. It was self defence therefoe legal. "I am curious, I never knew the Black family to be in Germany", said Sirius thoughtfully while the others were huched over Ronalds bed offering him their condolences. Dumbledore choose this moment to stand, "I have two hunches for young Harrison's origin one is that it is a different Black line, the other is that Bellatrix is still at large and raising him as her heir" said Dumbledore making everyone shudder at the mention of Sirius's deranged deatheater cousin. But before long Dumbledore threw down his book in excitement. "Ronald we may never etch you original, erm, extension again but I have found a wonderful alternative. Dumbledore hd Ronald hold out his bleeding stump and cast a complex spell giving him a solid silver replacement. It turned out to be a good day after all for the light.

While Headmaster Black and the two Potter professors accompanied Minister for Magic Dumbledore to the door there eyes fell on a horrid sight. Argus Filch had been scalped and had his teeth removed hung from the stair rafters. He was dead. "We are dealing with an animal, a monster", said Dumbledore gravely.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Now that Dumbledore was minister he would implement his personal followers to fill various positions of power. He had promoted Arthur Weasley to the job of Head of the auror department despite the fact that he was not qualified. He had also added two new holidays to the British magical calender, the first being Barnes's birthday and the other being his defeat of Voldemort, all in an effort to make sure his successor is revered by the time he takes command. Barnes made him proud when he looked back at all the hard work he had put in to transform the useless fat boy into the two time British duels champion, a triwizard contender, and a star seeker on the quiddich pitch that had only been beaten once in four years. Albus then pondered angrily on what he could have accomplished if Harrison had not been their sabotage him. If Harrison had not been their Barnes could have already been a three time champion, undefeated at quiddich, and leading the tournament. But Dumbledore knew winning the triwizard cup over Harrison would erase the previous defeats from everyones mind and declare Barnes the greatest of his generation. The thought of Barnes reigning supreme brought tears to Dumbledore's eyes. Black may have been a rival but that meant defeating him would be that much sweeter! Dumbledore then resumed his paperwork after contacting his boyfriend Alastor Moody to help teach Barnes all he needs for the second task in February.

After the recent murders at Hogwarts all students were now required to be escorted by a teacher to class. Harrison hated this asit meant he was constantly asked if he was releated to headmaster Sirius Black. But today he and Daphne would sneak off as they were getting tired of Ronald boasting about his new solid silver "tool" that Dumbledore had made him after Daphne castrated him. They were walking down to the Slytherin common room when they found there way blocked by the looks of it another Weasley. "Why are you not in a group" demanded the unnamed Weasley. "Who the hell are you" demanded Daphne ignoring his question. "I am Percy Weasley, head of the child protection department at the ministry as appointed by Dumbledore" Percy never finished with his credentials because at that moment Harrison decapitated Percy. Then with a quick flick of his wand he banished Percy's body into the forbidden forest for the spiders to clean up. Daphne meanwhile picked up Percy's head and vanished it to be in a spot that would grab attention.

Meanwhile

Gryffindor had just defeated Hufflepuff 470-340 after Barnes managed to catch the snitch after cedric Diggory was knocked out by Fred. Ronald let in 34 goals but was still pracing around criticizing all of the players. Everyone ignored him until they heard a girl scream, but it was just Ronald. Ronald stood horrified holding Percy's severed head. The ttwins looked as if Christmas had come early. "Wicked", they said simultaneously.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I don't own Harry Potter

November came and went with no additional murders by Harrison. Due to the triwizard tournament the quiddich season had been compressed in to four weeks. Slytherin, due to their win over Gryffindor had unseated the lions who had won the previous three cups as the champions, going 3-0. Gryffindor had finished second going 2-1, Ravenclaw was third going 1-2, and Hufflepuff was winless at 0-3. Barnes Potter was in a foul mood and not even James and Lily could calm him down. It had been his goal to win seven quiddich cups, but that Black kid snatched it away. But soon December came along and soon it was Christmas and the triwizard Yule ball became the topic of intrest for the students.

Yule Ball

Harrison stood waiting in the great hall with the other champions. Fluer was taking Cedric Diggory as her date, Barnes was taking "Guinea pig" Weasley his betrothed, who was wearing a obviously hand made dress made from old feed sacks. Finnaly Daphne arrived and looked stunning in a silver dress made from the finest silk. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Barnes giving him dirty looks, and Ginny staring with jealousy at Daphne's dress. Daphne slid out her wand and whispered a spell so only Harry could hear. "This will be an interesting dance", said Harry.

Very soon, everybody had assembled on the floor and the champions and their dates began dancing. Harrison could see Dumbledore watching him suspiciously, so he shot the minister a grin earning him a glare. Harrison began wondering when Daphne's spell was going to take effect when she heard Fluer scream in disgust. At the feet of Ginny Weasley was the product of Fluer's disgust, Daphne had put the new dark curse they had learned to use the Bifix curse which caused someone to lose complete controle of their bowels, the effects lasted a month, which meant Ginny would have to wear a diaper for that month. Barnes shot a glare at Harrison who mock saluted him as he left to go grab a bite to eat.

Dumbledore was beyond furious, his ball ruined because of dark magic. He and Sirius had erased the memories of anybody who had scene the young Ms. Weasley shit herself to spare her the embarrisment. Ronald Weasley had attempted to curse Hermione Granger for what he considered an act of betrayel, for Hermione had taken a Ravenclaw seventh year by the name of Jimmy Jerry. "What, Gryffindor not good enough for you, AVADA", but before he could finish the curse Dumbledore put an arm around him and told him to play nice. Ronald shrugged and continued to dance with Lavender and tell her all about his solid silver "tool". Dumbledore then looked around for Harrison and his date, but was surprised to see they were gone. He thought about looking for him but his favorite slow song came on and he simply had to honor his boyfriend Alastor Moody with a dance.

Meanwhile back in Harrison's room he was contemplating with Daphne the strange nature of the gift his mother had given him. It was what looked like a normal black rock but something was inscribed on it. It must have been important and valuable, but Harrison just did not know. There was however a small note from Bellatrix that said "Works best with the cloak of Potter's and wand of Dumbledore's. Figure it out. Good luck!" "Well, it appears we have two items on our grocery list dear" said Harrison looking to Daphne who grinned.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Harrison with the help of Daphne had finally put the pieces of the puzzle together. The rock was the resurrection stone of the fabled deathly hollows. Potter and Dumbledore were in possession of the other was ironic James had given the cloak to his son Barnes, when in reality it was Harrison's by birth right. Harrison decided getting the wand off of Dumbledore would be harder than getting the cloak off of Potter, but if he got the cloak first he would make Dumbledore suspicious. In the end Daphne said she would steal the cloak while Potter was in Hogsmeade to avoid suspicion of Harrison. It was a great idea as both Harrison and Daphne intended to be masters of death. The plan was set now it was time for action.

Daphne had disguised herself under polyjuice potion to resemble a small girl with pigtails. She simply followed Barnes Potter and his two Weasley followers into the Hogs Head. Barnes seemed to be holding court trying to assemble a vigilant group whose main purpose was to fight the evil of Slytherin house. The group called themselves Dumbledore's army. "How can an amateur like you lead us" squeled the little girl disguised Daphne. Barnes cocked his head at the little girl before sneering "I little child am a two time British duels champion and Hogwarts tri wizard champion". Ronald was already having terrible thoughts about the girl but Barnes held him back as he doubted even he could let Ronald get away with that. "I bet you cant even beat me" sneered little Daphne "You goota take her Barnes show her a lesson" said Ginny scrathing her crotch uncontrollably due to the fleas that were n her newest dress made of old feedsacks. "Alright you little shite I will show you why Barnes Boyle Potter is to be feared" snarled Barnes. "Lets make a wager if you win I will give you the password to Harrison Black's private room but if I win I get your cloak of invisibility" Barnes looked excited for he was so confident in his dueling skills that he could only think about wrecking Black's room. Barnes did not even think about losing as he signed the binding contract that Daphne had procured. They were allowed to use a back room at the Hogs Head to duel. Barnes and Daphne bowed and immediately began firing hexes and jinxes at each other. Daphne was able to dodge all of Barnes's tickling charms and surprised him with lethal knife curses which put him immediately on the defensive. "Bobarda" screamed Barnes who could not believe he was losing but Daphne dodged his curse yet again. Finally Daphne disarmed Barnes to the shock of the onlookers, but Barnes had one more trick up his sleeve as he used wandless magic to summon it back and fired a stinging hex at Daphne before hissing when it failed to land yet again. Daphne sent an acid spell at him which Barnes barely blocked in time to save himself. Barnes was about to fire another curse but found he could not the acid had burnt his wand. "My wand" cried Barnes as the holly and phoenix Olivander creation disintegrated in his hands. "You have no wand, therefore you lose Potter, but you lost much more than just our duel haven't you? You lost your cloak and your wand in the process" said Daphne collecting the cloak. "Impossible I can't lose to a kid, what are you" screamed Barnes. " Your worst nightmare" said Daphne. "Give Barnes his cloak you bitch" squaled Ginny. Daphne ignored her and simply cast a cutting curse on her feedsack dress causing all involved to scramble to get her clothing.

Brian Cornell who bought the hogs head following the murder of Aberforth had flooed to Albus's office and told him of the events at the Hog's Head. "Weasley send ot the best aurors we have" demanded Dumbledore fearing the worst was about to happen again. Someone was after the hollows again.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"He what"! screamed James Potter as he stared flabbergasted at Dumbledore, whom had just informed him that his son had not only lost a duel to what appeared to be a little girl, but also lost his family heirloom cloak of invisibility. Dumbledore confirmed James worst fears, but to James the cloak was of immense sentimental value, but he unlike Dumbledore did not know that it was much much more in fact a deathly hallow to be exact. Dumbledore drowned out James Potter's rants and stared at his Elder wand, which was the only hallow he now knew to be safe. He had no idea who was the owner of the cloak now, and after his aurors had been prevented from retrieving it because Amelia Bones head of the law part of the ministry said because it was a legal duel it would be an abuse of power and illegal to take the cloak.

The fact that Amelia Bone's had dared question his leadership was against the greater good, so he had tasked one of his worthless followers to kill her as it was for the greater good and Dumbledore would appoint Molly Weasley to fill the post. Dumbledore was disturbed from his thoughts when Lily Potter along with her son Barnes flooed in and began to inquire wheter there had been progress on getting the cloak back. "Sadly no", said Dumbledore with a sigh. "So Barnes did you read the blueprint of the second task I gave you yet" asked Dumbledore with a wheeze. "Yes sir I have it all planned out Black won't know what hit him" said Barnes in an oily voice. Dumbledore and the rest of the Potter's decided to go out to the Leaky Cauldron for some of Dumbledore's favorite tomato sauce sundaes in which they would dicuss strategies for tomorrows second task.

The Second Task

Harrison had not put much thought into the second task, as he was more concerned about collecting more hallows with his girlfriend Daphne. She had hidden the cloak of invisibility and the stone of resurrection in the room of requirement in case Dumbledore or the headmaster would search the Slytherin common room for the cloak. Harrison had been appalled when he had heard that Amelia Bones had been killed, as he was sure Dumbledore was behind it. He then looked at the papers due to his perfect score in winning the first task he led the tournament with 50 points, Barnes was second, and Fleur was third although she should be in second. Harrison knew the first two tasks didn't really matter as whoever won the third task was the champion and that was his goal.

Harrison decided he would use gillieweed in the task. He did not have a problem reaching his hostage which was Daphne, he did have a mermaid try to grab him but with a quick sectemsempra the mermaid lost its arm. The task was rather simple and Harrison and surprisingly Fleur had come up at the exact same time. Harrison had become friends with the French witch in the weeks since the ball, she had transfigured herself into a mermaid which should give her the task victory. Barnes came out last holding Ginny whose feedsack dress looked heavy with the water, he had used gilliweed also.

Dumbledore stood up and said pleasantly "Well done, especially our home favorite Barnes eh" "Now for the scores for Barnes although he finished 36 minutes late he used gillieweed to great affect we award Mr. Barnes Boyle Potter 43 out of 50 points. Next we Mr. Harrison Salazar Riddle Black I aas minister am pleased to announce will receive 0 points for maiming a mermaid" said Dumbledore in a fake stern voice while in reality he was pleased. "Ms. Fleur Delacluer for a perfect task will receive 50 points" said Dumbledore with a scowl as he presented Fleur with the second task trophy. Harrison congratulated Fleur who was outraged on his behalf for his DQ. "Don't worry about it the first two tasks are only to determine the seedings for the third task" said Harrison. "Besides you have the second task trophy, I have the first task trophy, and one of us will have the tri wizard cup to add to our mantle" said Harrison.

Meanwhile Dumbledore and Barnes were having a party because although he did not win a task he had the lead going into the third task.

1\. Barnes Boyle Potter 91 pts 1st task 2nd place 2nd task 2nd place

2\. Fleur Maria Delcaluer 88 points 1st task 3rd place, 2nd task 1st place

3\. Harrison Salazar Riddle Black 50 points 1st task 1st place 2nd task Disqualified


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

_**This is a whacky chapter if you don't think you can handle you can skip. These will happen ever so often as a change of pace.**_

As Harrison and Daphne made their way down to breakfast the next morning they were intrigued by a noise that seemed to follow them wherever they went. Little did they know the Head of the Department of law at the ministry Molly Weasley had been assigned to an assination mission by minister Dumbledore. Molly however could not for the life of her practice occlumency and that was her downfall. Harrison rugby tackled Molly and he and Daphne dragged her off into the room of requirement. "Let me go you little shites" screamed Molly Weasley as she scratched her crotch uncontrollably. Harrison ignored her as he began skinning her buttocks with a potato peeler, while Molly let out a blood curling scream that was quickly extinguished as Daphne cut out her vocal cords. With one fluid slash Harrison scalped Molly with his favorite knife.

The next mourning

Dumbledore was worried because Molly had not made it back, but he quickly forgot as his boyfriend Alastor Moody licked his shaft with enthusiasm before Dumbledore exploded in his mouth quickly over flowing the gnarled aurors mouth. It was then that an owl arrived carrying not a letter but Molly Weasleys scalp.

Barnes was rolling his eyes as he comforted his future wife Ginny following the news that her Mothers remains had been found. Apparently she had been cannibalized. Barnes knew Harrison was the killer and he along with Albus and Alastor Dumbledore (they had just been married) would seek their revenge. Game on! He was interrupted when Ginny ripped off her feedsack dress and demanded he make love to her.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Minister of Magic Albus Dumbledore watched with steely eyes the proceedings of the Hogwarts students who were eating breakfast. He was here to arrest Harrison Black for the murder of Molly Weasley. He knew he did not have the evidence but he did have the power of the ministry behind him. But Black's arrest would be his surprise following the conclusion of the third task. Dumbledore wanted Black to be defeated by Barnes before his arrest.

Barnes waited in the locker room for his chance at glory. He could get Black back for his defeats and take the tri wizard cup the greatest prize of all. Barnes had a two minute head start and Dumbledore had given him the blueprint for the maze. He would show Black. He was interrupted from his visions of glory by Ginny who was scratching the bug bites on her head from her feed sack dress.

Soon enough Barnes was scurrying into the maze with a grin on his face. A minute later Fleur entered and finally Harrison entered. Harrison quickly killed three spiders and the sphinx with cutting curses. It was then that he saw a flash of red light and saw Barnes standing over Fleur with a grin on his face, while he was gloating Harrison simply grabbed the cup.

As soon as Harrison grabbed the cup there was pandemonium as the maze disappeared and the first thing Harrison saw was Dumbledore advancing on him with his husband Alastor. Harrison who already had his wand out sent a cutting hex at Dumbledore cutting his hand off. The hand went flying into the air and Harrison caught it. The hand had the Elder wand in it which belonged to Harrison now by virtue of conquest. "I am the master of death now Dumbledore, I hope you regret the day you convinced my parents to abandon me, because you have unleashed an evil greater than Voldemort ever was, that's right I was Harry Potter" said Harrison throwing Dumbledore's hand in the lake for the giant squid. "One more thing" said Harrison pointing the Elder wand at Alastor Moody Dumbledore who immediately exploded in a shower of blood. Dumbledore promptly fainted. "James that was our Harry" said Lily with tears in her eyes. "Maybe at one time but not anymore" said James solemnly.

_**This is the end of the summary now the story begins**_


	17. Chapter 17

Dumbledore addressed the order of the phoenix with a scowl on his face. "I have not been able to convince the German ministry to hand over Black for he is a hero for winning the tri wizard cup" Barnes looked on angrily he hated that Black his former worthless brother had beaten him so routinely, he would pay. Dumbledore began scratching his crotch uncontrollably at that moment and shed light on his new plan which was to have Barnes defeat Harrison in the upcoming German duel championships. Although Dumbledore was the leader of the light he had taught Barnes lethal dark spells, but it was for the greater good. If his plan to catch Harrison by surprise was to payoff he would be free of the threat of another dark lord and could retire as Barnes would have a legal kill on a big platform such as the popular German duel tournament in Hamburg. Harrison would be the top seed for he was attempting to win his fifth title in five tries currently he had the most titles on the junior tour with 127 titles and a record of 188-0 that included a 40-0 record in the German championships and he had also won the British title two years previously in his loan appearance in London. Dumbledore was already attempting to make Barnes the second seed so Harrison would await in the finals and he could prove to be superior to what is being considered possibly the greatest duelist ever. All of Barnes failures at attempting to beat Harrison would be offset in his death. Dumbledore already had made a move to weaken Black mentally and that was in his recent murder of his girlfriend Daphne. He chuckled to himself as his new boyfriend Flitwick gave him a blowjob.

Harrison remained unaware that his demise was being planned he had just been informed that his girlfriend was killed by Dumbledore for his obvious message "the light will rise" was found near her. He vowed to avenge her and had been from that time on training. In the two weeks before the German duel championships he had added three events to his dueling schedule and won them all easily in Tokyo, Beijing, and Rome. He knew Barnes was entering Hamburg and he intended to kill him once and for all.

Barnes had now picked up his third title in the British duel tournaments with a routine win. He had reached the final all 5 times he entered with his two losses in the finals in his first year to Romalda O'Hearty a seventh year of the Welch school of magic by a score of 13-11 the other was third year to Black in a 3 second submission. But now he was as good as gold to enter on the opposite draw and land Black in the finals. His argument was good for the second seed as his 57 titles including 3 British crowns were impressive as was his 121-2 record 48-2 in London.

Dumbledore was furious they had put Barnes as the number 4 seed! They would pay! He and Harrison's semi -final would not draw as much fanfare as a final would didn't the Germans care about the greater good? Dumbledore marched up to the seeding committee and demanded an explanation. "Did you say are a wizard or a squib" said the board chairman. "I'm Albus bloody Dumbledore yes I'm a wizard" After filling him in on his credentials Dumbledore was informed to his absolute fury that British dueling is considered weak compared to Germany. Dumbledore didn't have to worry as a first year girl from Durmstrang took out Barnes in his opening match. Harrison while disappointed to not get a crack at Barnes but raced to his fifth title in the German Duel championships.


	18. Chapter 18

Albus Dumbledore had never felt so betrayed in all his life. He had appealed to the German ministry to have them hand him Harrison but they had refused. They would pay! Dumbledore had put a bounty of ten thousand gallons on Harrison's head and as the minister of magic declared war. He had already taken out Daphne Greengrass but was eager to kill more, it was addicting. Just then James Potter entered and bowed at his feet kissing the hem of his robes. "We have infiltrated the German ministry Harrison should be over very soon my lord" Dumbledore loved his power and had recently used his power to make people call him lord. "Catching Potter may be a trick" wheezed Dumbledore as he lit a Cuban cigar. "No get out of my sight Potter and send in Barnes" said Dumbledore in a harsh voice as he cradled his new wand that Olivander had made for him made out of the whoomping willow that he had recently cut down (in order to make room for a gold statue of himself, it was of course for the greater good) and contained a core of centaur lungs as he had killed all of the centaurs that dared oppose him. "Ah Barnes good to see you I just want you to know your next mission is to challenge Harrison to an honor duel to the death, after I train you for seven weeks of course" wheezed Dumbledore taking another puff of his Cuban cigar and a swig of his pumpkin juice. Just then there was an abrupt knock on his door.

Barty Crouch Jr was pissed to say the least. Bellatrix and Harrison had ordered him to pretend to be Dumbledore's ex- lover Alastor Moody for seven weeks to spy on the leader of the light and he was not looking forward to it at all. First off he was not gay, well that pretty much covered it in a nutshell. He felt nauseated as he knocked on the door at first ignoring James Potter whimpering in the adjacent hall. As knocked on the door Barnes Potter paled at the sight at seeing a dead man walking again. Dumbledore looked shocked with a hint of sadness in his eyes he did not even notice he had put his Cuban Cigar in his mouth with the lit end first invoking a painful scream. After feeding Dumbledore some cock and bull story about staging his own death Dumbledore began kissing him and Crouch was glad he had not eaten, soon they reached Dumbledore's private chambers in the ministry and Crouch last rational thought was "screw you Bellatrix" as he slugged Dumbledore in the balls and took off muttering darkly. "But baby come back" said Dumbledore despairingly. "I knew I should not have braided my beard".

Heartbroken Minister calls off impending war to deal with broken heart

By Rita Skeeter

Albus Dumbledore has not left his chamber in three weeks, but sources say he has suffered from the breakup of his previously assumed dead boyfriend Alastor Moody. Nothing however has been confirmed. But this reporter must ask when will Dumbledore return and capture Harrison Black and rid the world of what he has called the next dark lord.

It appeared they were successful even without the now dead Crouch's spying on the old coot they had disabled him for the past three weeks and while he was week they would launch a surprise attack, which would invoke the fury of the British people as they were left wide open for attack just because Dumbledore was morning the loss of a relationship. Dumbledore if the plan went to plan would be given a vote of no confidence , along with the discovery that he stole from St Mungo's fund to pay for his sudden addiction to Cuban cigars!


	19. Chapter 19

Dumbledore was in his office puffing his latest cigar when he got the knock on the door that he was expecting. It was none other than Barnes Potter. "Ah Barnes my boy hows it going" "Fine sir" said Barnes. Suddenly Dumbledore began telling him the Weasleys were not happy that he had yet to make love to Ginny. Dumbledore then advanced on Barnes "Im warning you Potter make love to the light or else" "Well how about we train" said Barnes in an attempt to change the subject. "How would you like to be dead" replied Dumbledore with a wheeze

There was a noice at the door "You bitch" screamed Filius Flitwick as he threw mud at Dumbledore. "I can't believe you cheated on me" "But baby" All Dumbledore could do was wheep.

"Crucio" screamed Dumbledore as James Potter whimpered in fear. "Now out"screamed Dumbledore "Yes my lord" cried James. "Imperio" said Dumbledore as he had James make love to him.


	20. Chapter 20

Albus Dumbledore after a healthy day training with his young protégé Barnes was in the mood to head on over to the Hogs Head for some of his brothers famous mozzarella sticks. He being the owners brother got to come in before and after hours. Dumbledore just put in his out of date cd player and sang his favorite song from the Tisdale magic mice "shit don't stink when it hits the celing" after a while the portrait of Armando Dippitt yelled at him to stop (Dumbledore had killed Armando to take the headmasters job and had taken his portrait when he assumed the minister of magic position)

Dumbledore had seen Aberforth was not up yet. It was then that he noticed the shower was on. Dumbledore could not believe it his brother was a stud muffin with a six pack he must have him for his own. After an imperious curse Aberforth became his left hand man with his other boyfriend Vernon Dursley as his right hand man.

Sirius Black could not belive it "So youre saying we level Hogwarts to build The Albus Dumbledore resort What about the students?" "Well the ones we don't scare off we will serve up and feed to the guests" replied Dumbledore with a chuckle. "Avada Kedavra" said Sirius as he collected Dumbledores head and added it to his collection of kills along with those of James, Lily, Remus, Barnes, Astoria, and Harrison Black. Sirius Black always gets the last laugh he screamed to Diagon Alley.

The end


	21. Chapter 21

Harrison awoke from his dream with a violent shudder he had dreamt that his ex-godfather had killed him along with the old coot. After dusting himself off and getting a soda he proceeded to go continue his plan to unite the hags in an effort to bring down Dumbledore and his little psychopaths. It was his new betrothed Astoria who had come up with the idea after Dumbledore had strangled her sister at Hogwarts she was now out for revenge.

The hags were extremely ugly and were oozing with warts what they wanted was glory and face value. Recently they had taken to watching American muggle horror movies and had come to the conclusion that they would skin the faces of their victims to cover their deformed faces. They exited to take part in the upcoming mission Harrison had assigned them and that was the attack on the borough.

Percy Weasley was knitting a sweater as she listened to Barnes and Ginny making love upstairs with a grin on her face his mother would be so proud had she not been scalped and killed. Just then a crash was heard and he was surrounded by five hideous hags. Luckily he apparated and was never seen again as he started a new life in Switzerland. After Percy escaped their clutches they found a Ronald Weasley pigging out in the kitchen. At first Ron did not notice them until he looked up "weez yere ugly" he managed to wheeze out with a mouthful of chunky tuna surprise. It turned out to be the wrong thing to say as he was thrown against the kitchen table while the hags searched for the proper knives.

Barnes and Ginny had arrived by emergency portkey to Dumbledore's office and informed them the house was being raided by hags. It was already hard on the Weasleys that Arthur had walked out on them to be a mechanic in Scotland after Molly's scalping but now Percy and Ronald were in danger. Dumbledore strapped on his superman underwear and apparated to take on the hags. Now there were 61 hags still alive and all of them were at the borough. By the time he arrived the house was on fire and there was no sign of the brothers Weasley. He was able to judge by the magical signature that Percy had apparated to Switzerland which meant Ronald was inside the house. He was not able to go in as the hags had advanced on him he was able to kill about thirty of them with one curse before the leader the legendary Joann showed herself and Dumbledore's heart sank she was wearing the face of Ronald Weasley. In his rage Dumbledore destroyed the hags rendering them extinct. He was about to take off when he saw a slight movement in the rubble of the Weasley home it was Ronald! He could be saved! That night Dumbledore worked many hours with madam Pomphrey building Ronald a life support suit that resembled Darth Vader except that it was scarlet and gold. Ronald would have to keep it on to survive. In his ritual Dumbledore tripled Ronald's magical core and quadrupled his mental capacity. He was now Dumbledore's new secret weapon in his chess match with Harrison Black. He now had the Boy who Lived Barnes Potter and the third most powerful wizard alive behind himself and Harrison Black, Count Weasley protector of the light. "Your move Black" Dumbledore snarled into the night.


	22. Chapter 22

Albus Dumbledore finally had all the pieces together in his arsenal to implement his grand scheme of cleansing the wizarding world of past wrongs. All wizards who could not prove to have muggle relatives were sent to hard labor camps where after two weeks would die of magical exhaustion. It was payback for all the discrimination of the past. Dumbledore being of pure blood himself paid also as he had cut off his left arm and right foot as a self- punishment for belonging to such a racist group of wizards.

"But Albus they can't pay for the mistakes of their ancestors" cried Lily Potter as she began doubting everything she had ever believed about the so called leader of the light. "Lily they would not take pity on you in fact they would kill and torture you if given the chance" pleaded Albus in a winning voice. Lily did not buy into the greater good therefore she must be destroyed. "Lily you will not oppose me but you insist anyways which results in a final duel against an opponent of my choosing" said Dumbledore with a glare. Lily braised herself for Albus to send in Count Weasley whom Dumbledore controlled under the imperious curse. Weasley was simply unbeatable in his new body suit to protect his skinless body. The scarlet and gold suit made him physically unstoppable and the fact that Dumbledore had tripled his core. He had already taken out the Lestrange brothers and the Carrow's all in his first mission. Dumbledore had made his current boyfriend Olivander make him a custom wand that was 3 feet long made of solid steel and reinforced with rivets and had a core of carbonic acid. In fact there were whispers that since Dumbledore controlled Count Weasley that he may never enter a fight himself ever again. Lily Potter was shocked not to see the machine man enter but rather her son Barnes.

Dumbledore leered "Now Lily fight your son" Barnes wondered what new glory could be attained perhaps he could have Dumbledore juice him up too. It was not fair that Ronald just for being skinned alive got extra powers and a cool suit. "Barnes please" Lily pleaded. "I'm in it for the glory" just as he was about to finish her Lily was scooped up by none other than Harrison Black "Take her back to headquarters" he yelled not sure why he was saving the woman that abandoned him. Fred and George had accompanied Harrison and after transporting Lily back to headquarters returned to assist Harrison. "Ah the twins it is not too late to see the light" said Dumbledore with a wink. "Sorry you are no better than Voldemort" said George. "No, well maybe your brother can convince you" shrieked Dumbledore. Soon a door slid open revealing none other than Count Weasley formerly Ronald "Ron" Weasley. "Kill" screeched Dumbledore. Harrison immediately pushed the twins out of the way and began dueling the count. Harrison was stronger but not by much and the count was fresher and began forcing Harrison to the defensive with spells that were hardly light. Harrison never gave him the upper hand and soon he had pushed him in to defensive tactics of his own. "Ronald were did you get so strong hmm" asked Harrison mockingly. "This one is for Gryffindor" Ronald said in a vintage Weasley moment spouted out with his robotically mechanical voice. Harrison summoned Barnes Potter ( whom was consuming snack cakes and popcorn watching the duel) and used him as a shield for Count Weasley's bone crushing hex. As Barnes screamed Harrison apparated away just as Dumbledore lounged for him missing him by inches.

"Do not worry Count Weasley you will have another shot at him as will you Barnes" said Dumbledore pleasantly as he healed Barnes. Dumbledore continued his waltz to his office with the hope of scoring lucky with Olivander. "If by some miracle he gets by both Barnes and Weasley he will have nothing left for me the greatest wizard of all time" said Dumbledore with a hiccup as Olivander began to work on him.


	23. Chapter 23

Dumbledore was just in his office at the ministry when he got the call he was not hoping on receiving Sirius Black his handpicked successor at Hogwarts had announced neutrality in the battle vs Harrison Black. It was bad enough that Harrison had captured James Potter and was currently relocating him and his wife to Switzerland to stay out of the war.

Count Weasley had single handedly destroyed the homes of all of Harrison's followers and had killed all of them except for the Malfoy's, the Greengrasse's, the twins, and Snape. Harrison, Draco, and Snape, and Astoria had entered the ministry of magic with the intent of ending Dumbledore's reign once and for all. They had also brought an army of former death eaters who were eager to bask in the glory of one so powerful as Barnes. As they approached the high office of the minister they found their way blocked by a tall imposing figure in a scarlet and gold suit it was none other than Count Weasley.

A battle had broken out before they knew it and soon Weasley had destroyed their entire army. The opening was there for them to go through "Go I will keep him busy" said Snape as Weasley advanced on him.

Severus Snape was not even among the top ten most powerful wizards alive so if a duel was dependent on power he would lose. He was however, the smartest duelist to ever come out of Britain and he was able to hold his own. However the longer the duel went on the more it benefitted Count Weasley in his suit. Severus sent some of the most powerful spells at Weasley but always was sent back at him. Weasley had destroyed the entire lobby of the ministry and all employees and apparated out. Snape knew he could deal a huge blow to Dumbledore by taking out Count Weasley who seemed virtually unstoppable. The suit made him never tire he was also dependent on it to survive so if Snape could take it away somehow. The suit was immune to spells that could cause it harm, but it gave Severus Snape the opening or loop hole he needed "Accio suit" and sure enough the helmet came off and a skinless Count Weasley died as Ronald Weasley. As Snape stepped over the blood of his opponent he could not help but feel elated that he had taken out one of the most feared and powerful wizards in the world, who in his short conception had killed over three hundred of his comrades.

Dumbledore watched as he monitored Astoria, Draco, and Harrison enter his office. Just then Olivander had given him some grave news "Baby, Count Weasley has fallen to Severus Snape" Dumbledore took out his anger and advanced on the three conquistadors. "You die now" he bellowed as Barnes Potter entered with a grin on his face. "I'll take you once and for all Black" screamed Barnes as he raised his wand. "Sectemsempra" shouted Astoria as Barnes's hand fell off, he simply stared at it before screaming. "That was anti climatic" yawned Draco. Quick as a whistle Dumbledore shoved the hand in his pocket and apparated Barnes out of the ministry not before saying "We shall meet again Black and you shall die" with one final toot they were gone. While they were there they decided to see if they could steal some of Dumbledore's junk but all he had left lying around were inappropriate magazines. Instead they set fire to his office and stole his chess set as well as his deluminater. Before they left they earned the allegiance of Fawkes as it was he who burned the office.

It was a day of victory!


	24. Chapter 24

Albus Dumbledore finally had a way for him and Olivander to be together properly and for Barnes to gain the needed power he needed. Dumbledore wanted to become a woman for Olivander so he could have a child for the light to lead if Barnes failed on his quest. The ritual was a dark one but it would be needed to ensure the light would prevail. Now he had to do it in public as that was essential for the magic to work.

Dumbledore stood up and tapped his glass to get the great halls attention. "now that you bastards are fed and watered it is time for you to witness the rise of the light" said Dumbledore taking out a dagger while he pulled down his pants and cut off his manhood with one gentle chop. Headmaster Black tried to stop him but it was too late. The great hall went into uproar as they then saw Dumbledore conjure a blender and pulverize his bits into a drink and force Barnes to drink it. "I am now former professor and current minister Alice Dumbledore" he screamed engulfing Olivander in a passionate kiss. Filch then began singing "oh Dumbledore is a she and last but not least Barnes's new power will make Blacks power look wee, for Dumbledore is the girl for me."


	25. Chapter 25

AS PROMISED

Dumbledore was now a woman as he had healed his wound and converted it into a woman part. He and Olivander were going to make wonderful babies he thought with a grin. Just then a sick looking Barnes came in no doubt a little queasy from drinking his man hood. Dumbledore was just about to command him to make love to him when there was a crash outside his office that awoke him with a startle. It was Olivander clutching his nose only his nose was gone and replaced by a lobster. "No the lobsternasalus hex" he shrieked. He tried to run but his leg was slow as he had cut off his real leg as punishment for being pure blood. Just then a large man it was Hagrid began attacking Olivander "yer a liar Dumbledore you could have gotten me a wand again after I was expelled" he said as he picked Olivander up like a baby and snapped his spine over his knee and launched him into orbit Olivander exploded in a shower of gore as he connected with the hard wall outside the ministry showering the muggles. "Hagrid you will forget this and make love to me"Dumbledore ordered throwing off his greasy cloak  
"Over me dead body" Hagrid roared as he saw Dumbledores new addition. He grabbed Dumbledore by the nose and twisted until he ripped the cartilage off his nose and pocketed it. Dumbledoe fainted and Hagrid threw him into an empty sack and beat the ground a few times breaking all his bones and making sure to feed Dumbleforks nose to Fluffy and Fang.

Later Dumbledore healed his bones and replaced his nose with a hubcap. He now needed a new boyfriend to make love for the light and have his baby and he knew just where he would look. He would pursue his long time crush Dean Thomas it was a new day! "The light will rise" he bellowed with a wheeze.


	26. Chapter 26

Duel

Battle lines are drawn.

Minister of Magic formerly known as Albus Dumbledore now known as Alice Dumbledore walked into Hogwarts with confidence. He had just gotten a pair of breast implants and his face was covered with makeup as he intended to make his move on Dean Thomas. Headmaster Black was confused when he demanded Dean Thomas be escorted to accompany him to the ministry. A few minutes later a confused Dean Thomas escorted Alice to the ministry. As soon as he landed in Dumbledore's office Dumbledore began ripping Dean's clothes off while Dean screamed that he had a girlfriend. Dean let out a blood curdling scream as Dumbledore began kissing his neck Dean took a swing at her and knocked half her teeth out. Dumbledore lay on the ground moaning while an enraged Dean took a potion knife and cut off Dumbledore's implants and threw them out the window landing on an unsuspecting Marge Dursley who immediately set up an appointment to install them.

Barnes and Ginny were one step away from breaking into Harrison's house with the mission of killing him when they were shocked to find a figure guarding their way it was Snape whom was standing over Longbottom. When he was within two feet of the pair he took out a knife and skinned Nevels face off and threw it on Barnes who screamed he then cut off his butcheeks and threw them at Ginny who pocketed them unconsciously after all her mother and her had killed several muggles to feed the Weasley clan before. She dropped the butt cheeks at Barnes's glare soon Snape lounged at her and scalped her. Barnes and Ginny soon disaperated not before Snape ate the rest of Neville


	27. Chapter 27

Barnes and Ginny would break in tonight and steal Harrison's wand just then they heard a noise it was a machine. It was a large machine Ginny hoping to steal some parts off of it went to examine it just then Hagrid grabbed her by her scalped head and put her into the machine which was a meat grinder and watched with rabid glee as Ginny was chopped into delicious pieces which he put on toothpicks and enjoyed for weeks. Hagrid grabbed Barnes and put him up on a hook. All Barnes could do was weep how would he get out of this.

Meanwhile Dumbledore was plotting his next move to love. He had grown new boobs and had a new boyfriend in Gregory Goyle. He had used his new love potion. He had dated Vincent Crabbe but the incident that tarnished their relationship had been a fateful one on young Mr. Crabbe's part he had made fun of his lack of boobs "I like big knockers and you don't have any" he had screamed before Dumbledore Avada Kedavra'd him. Afterword's he harvested his face and wears it when he makes love to Goyle. It was a good day to be Dumbledore.

Meanwhile Harrison had captured Barnes and after removing his ears had shaved his head and removed his hair. Just then there was a crash and Dumbledore was at the front door with his scarlet and gold cloak on and gave an enraged battle cry as he rescued Barnes and managed to get him to safety. "Its not too late for you Harrison strip down and make love to me and join the light" said Dumbledore leaning in for a kiss Harrison cut off Dumbledore's lips. While Dumbledore squealed Harrison grabbed Dumbledore's last real arm and cut it off. An enraged and wild looking Dumbledore with just his artificial arm began to advance on Harrison menacingly and about to attempt a highly illegal charm but before he could Hagrid came and Dumbledore already knew of the fate of his ex- boyfriend and lover Olivander took off like a bat out of hell. As soon as he apparated back to his office he saw Barnes still recovering from shock "I know what you are feeling losing Ginny and your ears tonight Harrison cost me my nose and arm. But also my two men Olivander and sweet sweet mad eye" Barnes knew where this was going but found out to his complete and utter dismay that the doors were all locked as Dumbledore put on romantic music. "Barnes I have watched you grow ito quite the stud muffin make love to me and make love to the light I realize now that for the light to succeed and have the perfect baby of the light it must infuse me the greatest wizard ever and you the prophesy child. And don't think about running it is your destiny" said Dumbledore whom was now stark naked. Barnes did not have time to object before Dumbledore concealed him in a large kiss and ripped off his clothes Barnes passed out with disgust. Later that night Dumbledore took his test. "IM PREGNANT!" he screamed "THE LIGHT WILL RISE!"


	28. Chapter 28

Dumbledore now being a woman now desired woman for himself. He had already made love to Umbridge before harvesting her face. He had killed Goyle and his cheating ex boyfriend Vernon as well. Alice Dumbledore was currently making love to her new girlfriend Petunia when he got a knock on the door it was the doctor that came to check on his baby. Dumbledore was expecting a baby any day now. Just then he heard a crash it was Hagrid with a knife! Dumbledore whom still held feelings for Hagrid said in an oily voice "Hagrid forget this madness and make love to me repent to the light" Hagrid responded by scalping Petunia who screeched in pain while Hagrid chuckled darkly. "No Dumbledore you liar" Hagrid was taken aback by Dumbledore who threw off his greasy cloak and said "We can make beautiful music together Hagrid" "I aint gay we would be playing the same note" Hagrid hacked up Petunia and left a saddened Dumbledore in his wake "Im a lady" Dumbledore wheezed sadly


	29. Chapter 29

Barnes Potter was not looking forward to watching Dumbledore give birth to his child. Dumbledore had spent the morning servicing him and had been really rude to him repeatedly smacking him with his boobs. After a while Barnes saw his son and was amazed to find that it looked nothing like him it was Kingsley's baby apparently Dumbledore had attacked him too and wiped his memory. Kingsley upon finding out that Dumbledore had violated him in such a way was about to finish off the old coot for good when Dumbledore threw his greasy cloak at him a wheezed "Kingsley baby you would not want our new little son Lovemaker Shakelbolt to see the parents fighting now would you? So what I had my way with you against your will but it was for the greater good now strip down and make love to me", said Dumbledore advancing on Kingsley menacingly. Kingsley as disgusted with Dumbledore the man had once been one of the most respectable wizards of all time now all he cared about was sex and he was also unrecognizable with robotic limbs and a hub cap for a nose, but worst of all was his crazy sex change. Kingsley immediately smashed Dumbledore into the wall as Dumbledore went flying through th air condoms and toys flew out of his pockets. Kingsley immediately brought the baby to a muggle orphanage in Vienna it would be better for it not to know its origin. Dumbledore woke up in a muggle dumpster in Wimbledon and screamed "My baby" but was quickly distracted when he saw some people he wanted to make love to wipping out his wand and performing the imperious curse made it a pretty good day to be Dumbledore he thought as he shot up some drugs before going to bed.


	30. Chapter 30

Mafalda Hoprick noticed a slight change in Dumbledore lately. First of all she thought it was head scratching that Dumbledore had a hub cap for a nose titanium rods for arms and the rumor that Dumbledore's gender has changed. Hoprick's suspicion was confirmed when she saw Dumbledore enter the woman's bathroom. Something had to be done she thought.

Mafalda was looking at everybody's medical information when she came across Dumbledore's name. She found that he had used medication to control his insanity or his total mind set if you will. So she decided to check on the ol Minister of Magic.

Hoprick entered Dumbledore's office she almost feinted due to the strong smell of vinegar. The visibility was gone due to a weird fog obviously created by dry ice, also there was loud calypso music playing . Hoprick walked until she found a clearing and that's when she found a naked Dumbledore making love to the teenage sensation Barnes Potter. Dumbledore looked up his face covered in make up when seeing Mafalda he threw Barnes aside and advanced on her menacingly demanding she make love to her. Mafalda replied, "Just wait til I get my clothes off". Dumbledore cackled darkly throwing off his greasy cloak, exposing Mafalda with his new vagina. Mafalda led off a high pitch scream and cursed about forgetting to give Dumbledore his medicine. All of a sudden Dumbledore a large kiss and was about to grab her breast when Mafalda whipped out a needle full of Dumbledore's medicine and injected Dumbledore in the vagina. Dumbledore roared before he feinted.

Dumbledore woke up three days later and was horrified at the actions he had commited including punishing purebloods to "make up for the past" like a stinking American liberal. Worse yet he had cut off his limbs and most importantly his penis. And he was now officially straight. Sad, being straight yet having no dick it was madness. After banishing Barnes to go train with one of his minions he found a book of highly illegal dark rituals to get his body parts back. He needed to capture someone and eat their limbs alive! Dumbledore was not looking forward to anymore dicks in his mouth as he was now "cured" as he liked to say. That brought him to the subject of Harrison, he owed him an apology. As a team they would hopefully kill Barnes as he was highly annoying always wanting to have "glory". Dumbledore never liked the Weasleys but his medicine deficiency caused him to work with them. Dumbledore chuckled as he thought of Molly being scalped and Count Weasley. Just then one of his worthless minions came in with the pathetic Peter Pettigrew. "What this the best you could get" thundered Dumbledore hotly as he sent a killing curse at the unnamed minion whom immediately crumbled. Dumbledore then took a bite out of Peter's arm drawing a scream that caused people passing by the office to be uncomfortable. Soon all that was left was bones as Dumbledore watched with glee after he consumed the potion and his limbs and penis and nose regrew. "Not a bad way to end the day" Dumbledore belched into the night.


	31. Chapter 31

Albus Dumbledore was mad he had changed his mind he was too far in his plans to go back so the war with Harrison would continue. He picked up the corpse of his boyfriend Filch and Olivander along with his brother Aberforth and threw them out the window. Dumbledore was into men again but not dead ones. He and his newly captured boyfriend Mundungus Fletcher were currently making love when Dawlish head of the aurors came in with many fellow comrades. "Dumbledore you are under arrest for treason and rape" Dawlish yelled. "Surely we can forget this no need for violence the female aurors can leave while you gentlemen can strip down and make love to me" Dumbledore belched happily as he eyed Dawlish's package with a greedy gleeful and hungry expression on his snout like face. Dumbledore seeing nobody about to strip apparated after belching into the night "the light will rise" before grabbing new auror Roger Davies to have fun with in his hideout.


	32. Chapter 32

As Harrison and Draco entered the cave where they knew Dumbledore was hiding they decided to conceal their identity with an invisibility cloak. The entrance to the cave was lettered with clothes that were violently ripped off and condoms. Soon they crouched down and witnessed the worst sight they had ever seen.

Dumbledore had just cut off Roger Davies bits and had eaten it. Before belching happily "my plan is working I will soon be imortal" Draco quickly blasted the unsuspecting headmaster and watched him collapse hardly being able to believe Dumbledore would finally be brought before the wizangamot for his crimes against humanity and the wizarding world.

Next chapter Dumbledore goes to court!


	33. Chapter 33

Dumbledore was whistling merrilily as he walked down the hall to the Great Hall Professor McGonagall was surprised to see the escaped convict Dumbledore walk into the hall as if he owned the place but he didnt care anymore if the aurors were after him as he spoke he was after dean thomas again as the unfinished business Dumbledore was saddened to know that Dean Thomas had died of a drug overdose due to the abuse the Dumbledore put him through . a ravenous Dumbledore grabbed a first year student and again pulling his pants down for Professor McGonagall blasted him back as he flew threw the air he cut his dick on some glass which caused him to cry as he landed right into the arms of the aurors who would make sure his cell will secure this time as he escaped through a hole in the wall.

Dumbledore was placed back into his cell with Borgin of Borgin and Burkes. The guards ignored Borgins screams as Dumbledore made love to him as he had to be ready in the mourning for court.


	34. Chapter 34

Dumbledore walked confidently into the court room escorted by his guards who refused his advances when he tried flirting with them. Nevertheless Dumbledore smiled not realising his trial was over as he kept winking at the head of law enforcement. As he was led away he gave a pouting face to his guard who was to busy to notice. Dumbledore then realised he needed to escape from the Dementors kiss as his Dementors advanced on him Dumbledore smiled and wandlessly summoned his patronas which formed into a penis and struck his Dementors. Dumbledore did a victory lap running around the ministry lobby stark naked while people tried to stun him. After taking a leak in the fountain he dissapparated and headed for his hideout. Barnes was busy tending to his cut on his knee when he was mailed over by Dumbledore who peppered him with kisses and began making love to him. Dumbledore let of a victory belch and consumed the miserable Barnes in a passionate kiss. 


	35. Chapter 35

Dumbledore was ecstatic he had found a way for him to be able to catch Black but to do it he needed to have a plan.

The next day the Ministry alert bells were at full blast yet again as Dumbledore had set a small fire that was raging on the second floor. While everyone was busy with that Dumbledore grabbed a ministry worker and harvested his face so he could go under cover. Along the way to the ministers office he took a dumb in the fountain when someone spotted him. Dumbledore took of the face he was wearing and threw it at the worker before pulling up the jeans he was wearing under his robes in his haste however Dumbledore zipped the zipper really quickly which chopped the tip off of his penis castrating Dumbledore yet again. "Damn I really liked that one too" he belched madly. Quick as a whistle he grabbed a janitor and took his and sewed it on before disaperating and telling the shocked crowd that he would be back. After he disappeared the hall was silent until they heard a crack and Dumbledore was back this time with a large sack and he began grabbing the men he wanted to have fun with. Dumbledore kidnapped eight men before he dissapered howling at the moon before dissaperating.


	36. Chapter 36

Dumbledore stood outside the office with a mad gleam on his deformed face as he waited for his prey to slowly approach soon Dumbledore gave a victory belch as Igor Karkaroff approached and immediately ran for safety but he wasn't fast enough as Dumbledore pulled his trousers down and immediately stole his manhood to later mount. Dumbledore then blew up Durmstrang which was his revenge against Harrison. Dumbledore then apparated to Hogesmead and walked to Hogwarts but was distracted when he saw Harry's girlfriend Astoria who he tackled and just as he did to her sister Daphne was about to strangle to death but tight before the little bitch died he was thrown back by an unseen forse it was Harrison who provided to slug him in the balls. Harrison then threw Dumbledore on to the ground as he crinked his nose as Dumbledore smelled like corn chips and a porta potty. Dumbledore attacked again about to swoop down on Harrison but was blasted back collapsing in a crumpled heap. Seamus Finnigan who joined Harrison's side for the battle went to go check if he was dead but as he approached Dumbledore exploded into the air screaming "yaaaa" as he grabbed Seamus Fmabout to take of with him but before he would he needed to make out with him. As Dumbledore turned him around for some finger licking fun Seamus bit his jugular. Dumbledore screached a high screached that busted the windows of the school. He managed to stop the blood and took off in a puff of smoke that smelled of rotten eggs. "He will be back" Harrison said. And soon enough Dumbledore was back with another puff of smoke and a bandaid only this time he had his new boyfriend by his side Tom the Barmen and his other boyfriend Stan Shunpike. Dumbledore gave a battle cry as Harrison killed his lovers with ease he took off again to go love on Barnes but soon grew board of him and summoned a new muggle from town before settling on a Hufflepuff which was better than nothing after all as he pted him with kisses and gave a belch of content.


	37. Chapter 37

It was a quiet day outside the Ministry until they heard a bang it was Barnes with Dumbledore on his back Dumbledore took out an axe and began chopping heads off the Ministry employees he slapped Barnes to go forward. But just in time Harrison had arrived and immediately castrated the old coot after blasting him off Barnes who proceeded to try to attack him but Barnes blasted into the wall exploding in a shower of gore as the crowd roared at the fall of the little white. Dumbledore managed to save Barnes's penis which he put in his mouth which became like a pencil sharpener and tried to stab people with Barnes's sharp severed penis. Soon Dumbledore after having his beared blasted off sent a high powered tickle charm at his would be assasin and took off with a toot and a puff of smoke smelling like rotten eggs.

When Dumbledore arrived at his lair he attached Barnes's penis to his bleeding stump with the help of Belcher his house elf. "Should you be needing anything else" the elf said timidly./Dumbledore gave an exited belch "yes I would be needing something else " No not that" Belcher screamed as Dumbledore flipped him over and plugged himself in and sang his favorite song "hey I sacrafise my penis heeey I wanting something more" Dumbledore belched madly his song as he enjoyed his night.


	38. Chapter 38

The fire at the ministry had been contained after five weeks and all of Dumbledores victims had been put to rest. The ministry was having a giant funeral for all of those who were lost except Barnes who was thrown in a wood chipper and fed to the ministry pigs. The ministry was on edge as Dumbledore had yet to make an appearance.

Harrison was at his fifth funeral of the day this one being a closed casket. He noticed the casket was shaking and he decided to open it after being asked by the Minister of Magic. When he opened the casket he found a naked Dumbledore making love to the corpse. Dumbledore roared at being discovered and sent a killing curse at Harrison and a high powered tickle charm at the aurors which were easily blocked. Dumbledore was soon disarmed but before he could be killed once and for all his new boyfriend Griphook who he had been dating off and on for fourth years emerged and distracted the Aurors. Dumbledore managed to find his wand and dueled Harrison. Dumbledore kept sending tickle charms and he aborbed all of Harrison's curses soon Dumbledore let off a huge scream which shattered all of the windows of the building. The glass shards arranged themselves in the shape of a giant penis which was about to kill Harrison but he blocked it in time. Dumbledore screeched in anger as he raised both of his hands clutching his wand about to kill Harrison when his arms were cut off with an axe. Dumbledore looked on in disbelief as Hagrid held the axe and stared down at him. "Hagrid put my arms back on how else can we cuddle" Dumbledore belched. Hagrid shhok his head as he slammed the old coot's head into the pavement knocking him out. "Let's give him to the peoples families" Hagrid roared as the crowd worked in Dumbledore. The crowd first shaved his beard and his head before pulling his teeth. Dumbledore whom had woken up belched madly in disbelief as the crowd tortured him. But Dumbledore was a powerful man managed to apparated back to his hideout. He conjured his beard and hair to grow back and also stole some dentures from the muggle nursing home down the road. Dumbledore then belched happily as he used his muggle phone to order a pizza and watch some Soap opera's. He had a knock on the door "must be the damn pizza he won't get a til unless he makes love to me" Dumbledore belched as be scratched his crotch uncontrollably. "Dumbledore we know your in there come out with your hands up" the aurors called. Dumbledore chuckled which sounded more like nails on a chalk board " you'll never get me alive" he tried to apparate but couldn't as they had set up wards to stop apparation. Dumbledore looked for his house elf Belcher to save him then remembered he had killed him as well when he failed to satisfy him in bed."oh damn" Dumbledore belched as the aurors took him in after busting his door down. Dumbledore was finally going to face the consequences for his actions. Or so they hoped.


	39. Chapter 39

Dumbledore arrived at the ministry with his guards holding him so he couldn't escape Dumbledore belched and hissed but would not be released this time he would have to face the consequences for his actions. The guards got tired of his squirming and decided to slug him in what jewels he had left. Dumbledore belched darkly under his breath.

At the trial Dumbledore watched as some of his surviving victims told how he violated them. Dumbledore immediately interrupted "your honor their lying" he belched with a wink at the head of law enforcement. He put a silence charm on him so Dumbledore made silly faces at the victims while they spoke. Dumbledore finally was asked why he did these things "it was for the greater good I am the leader of the light" he belched. Dumbledore was furious to find he was guilty for everything plus he got charged with the murder of Barnes. Dumbledore would await his punishment tomorrow. Tonight Dumbledore would be sent to a cell as the ministry furious at his actions stripped him of all his limbs and also carved out his tongue.

The next day a limbless and furiously belching Dumbledore was carted in in his wheelchair as the crowd made fun of him. Dumbledore fate would either be the Dementor's kiss or the death penalty. In the end the death penalty was chosen because everybody wanted free of him. Dumbledore belched in anger as the needle of basilisk venom was injected in him and the old coot belched no more.

Next chapter Dumbledore goes to hell!


	40. Chapter 40

As Dumbledore belched as he looked around hell the devil himself came out to greet him but immediately ran as Dumbledore belched with glee and immediately started slapping his arse. He threw Dumbledore in the pit bit he kept coming back. Soon as Dumbledore gave a victory belch as he know controlled hell he thought of revenge against Black but tonight there would be love as he began thrusting himself in the devil. " I win" he belched madly into the night as he gathered more demons to make love to.


	41. Chapter 41

**Harrison heard an explosion it was Dumbledore riding the back of a demon. Harrison nearly vomited at seeing Dumbledores penis was thrusting itself into the but of the flying demon that he was riding. Dumbledore then attacked by leapimg into the air but unfortunately for him he hit the ceiling fans that had just been installed severing his dick**

** Dumbledore then made his command "Harrison you will give me all the boyfriends I want starting with that colored boy" Dumbledore brushhoged commandingly. He was ignored as he was cut down and his demons destroyed. Had they finally caught the racist old coot.**


	42. Chapter 42

As Dumbledore was marched to his prison cell he belched his innocence "you let me go before I open up a can of whoop ass on your HEAD" Dumbledore belched madly. Dumbledore continued trash talking and before long they decided to remove Dumbledores limbs but before they could Dumbledore absorbed their dicks and apparated on the spot to hatch up a new sinister plan.


	43. Chapter 43

Dumbledore had at last landed in his new cave what he didn't expect was to have a tracking devise on his back which caused him to be surrounded "you'll never get me don't make be open up a can of whoop ass on you" belched Dumbledore as he slaughtered a pig. Just then he was disarmed and knocked out to be taken to St Mungos for treatment and to research a way to end his reign of terror in other words kill the old coot. But before they arrived Dumbledore sprouted bat wings and ate the manhood of the auror holding him. He was gone but would undoubtedly be back in a matter of minutes.!


	44. Chapter 44

Dumbledore was back at the ready to make some love. "Oooohhhh its the start of a fight" he malpractised hauntingly. He had made a new dick that was one hundred feet long that was simply those of some of his victims tied together. The aurors had surrounded him again but he shot them with his new gun he had obviously stolen. He used his dick as a pogo stick and leaped up to the balcony to kill the minister so he could rule the wizarding world when he was castrated by Hagrid who had a giant pair of sheers. " Hagrid join the light its not to late for you strip down and make hot sweet juicy love to me before I open up a can of whoop ass on your HEAD and then make love to you" Dumbledore liquefied. When Hagrid ignored him he picked Hagrid up like a baby and threw him out the window and into a tree. "Score one for the good guys" Dumbledore chainsawed excitingly. But he was now surrounded so he reached into his pocket and threw some cat litter at the aurors. He grabbed a young auror male to make love to after he regrew his bits. "Love wins" he belched madly into the night.


	45. Chapter 45

Dumbledore was in his litterbox when his cave door was blasted open by the remaining aurors. Dumbledore quickly grabbed his wand and shot a high powered tickle charm that was easily blocked. The aurors slammed him down and cut and peeled off his face.

When Dumbledore woke he was furius so after escaping his holding cell he skinned off someones face and got to work. First order of business was simple "I will find out if Hagrid still likes me" he faxed. After Aperating to Hagrids house Hagrid rudely took Dumbledores head and shoved it against the hot stove for five minutes while Dumbledore belched in anger. Then he threw Dumbledore across a field but he was temporarily blinded because upon throwing Dumbledore Hagrid got cat litter in his eyes. He then emptied his Dumbledores pockets of all the condoms and sex toys. He then punched Dumbledore knocking more of his teeth out. Soon Dumbledore was up again and made a charge at him "gimme some sugar" he belched before Hagrid threw him against the wall with a sickening crunch but like a boomerang Dumbledore was back and for five hours this went on as the battered but determined Headmaster kept coming. Hagrid soon fled after being freaked out by Dumbledores unnaturalness. Dumbledore burst into tears but found a new boyfriend in Sturgis Podmore to make endless hot juicy love to. Love wins he slashed and burned hauntingly into the night._ Megantic_


	46. Chapter 46

Dumbledore would make his final push to gain England under his control tonight he had recruited five thousand trolls and twenty five giants to help him take what was left of England. The wizarding world would be his he vowed with a seizure and a wink.

Dumbledore sat in his makeshift office in his new cave after and eventful mourning having sex with his boyfriend Grawp. He had killed Sturgis after catching him admiring a porn magazine and had cut off and eaten his penis. Today Dumbledore would have all his dreams come true. Just then there was a crash as Hagrid came in and killed his brother Grawp. "Hagrid you must like me you keep killing me boyfriends" Dumbledore rapped. Hagrid ignored him and killed the trolls while Harrison swooped down and began dueling Dumbledore. Harrison shot a killing curse and a cutting curse at him but Dumbledore gave an amused belch and toot and responded by sending a high powered tickle charm at him followed by a bat boogey hex and jelly legs that were easily blocked. "Sectemsepra" Harrison yelled "Lumus" Dumbledore honked. The dark cutting curse collided with Dumbledores beam of light and canceled each other out. "Riddickulus" Dumbledore vomited with a belch. All Harrison could do was laugh at the pointless boggart spell that Dumbledore thought was a good idea. Then Dumbledore surprised Harrison with a dark cutting curse with chopped his hand off. Dumbledore stood gloating over Harrison repeatedly spiking a football he conjured and dunking it in a goal post he also conjured. Harrison snuck up on Dumbledore (who was now in full football pads and helmet pretending he had caught a touchdown) and used a cutting curse to cut him in half. Harrison had won again.

Dumbledore was back in hell and after his first stint the demons and the devil despite being homosexual himself wanted nothing to do with him so after Dumbledore plugged himself into the devil and a few demons he was back and best of all he got to take one back with him. "Who do I bring back to the world of the living" Dumbledore clicked and tea pot whistled. "Come here Barnes" Dumbledore climaxed as he would bring back his protégé for another go at Black. "Oooooh it's the start of a fight" Dumbledore sailed. They had work to do before taking out Harrison Black and that was love!


	47. Chapter 47

Dumbledore was trapped he and his apprentice and lover Barnes had just killed Harrison's friends and were about to take out Harrison but fell in a trap hole. "On shit you really did it now boy" Dumbledore shaved as he castrated Barnes and ate his manhood. After eating this he howled in disgust he was now straight for the first time in his life. He had a new goal stop the gays. Dumbledore with a burst of power lept into the air and chopped Harrison in half and a roar over the corpse of his greatest enemy. Just as he was about to finish out Barnes for good Flitwick came in. "Dumbledore you can't be straight what about all the romantic things you said" said Flitwick as he burst into tears. Dumbledore ignored him and took the mantle of supreme leader of the wizarding world. His first royal decree would ban gays and mudbloods from the wizarding world. "You can't do that I won't let you" be hiccupped. Dumbledore stunned him to torture later just as he sent him to the dungeon Flitwick broke free "if you won't listen then I must take you out" he hooted sending a high powered spell at him but Dumbledore easily chopped his limbs off. As Flitwick was about to bleed to death he was saved by the barely alive Barnes.

Barnes and Flitwick created the rainbow alliance and now had a powerful duo on their side James and Lily. But the new Dumbledore had the power of Snape and McGonagall it was going to be tough for the rainbow alliance to defeat Dumbledore. Lily and James were enjoyed to see Flitwick marry Barnes. Flitwick them put a potion in their food to make them gay as well. " I am truly a beautiful man" Flitwick belched as he gave his husband Barnes a kiss before making love for three days.


	48. Chapter 48

Dumbledore had just made love to his girlfriend Cho Chang and was getting dressed because he was told that Flitwick and Barnes were protesting outside his office. "Get the fuck out of here Chang before I kill your skank ass" said Dumbledore as he shoved her out of his way. " you keep calling me Chang do you even no my name" she asked angrily. "Um.. P.F." he said offhandedly. She slapped him and took off. "Don't turn your back to me" he snarled as he lanced off her head "I've only dated woman for a week and it already has come to this" he said sadly. Just then there was a crash it was Flitwick and Barnes. Dumbledore quickly recastrated Barnes and Flitwick was forced to retreat.

Flitwick had grown a new penis for Barnes. Barnes woke up as Flitwick began deeply kissing him full on the mouth with his tongue. "Let's take that new power tool for a spin" Flitwick belched showing off his putrid breath which smelled like rotten meat. " I want to rest " said. Barnes timidly before getting his nose broken. ' its an order I see I still have to break you in" Flitwick belched as he Flipped Barnes over and started his finger lickin fun.


	49. Chapter 49

Dumbledore was in his hot tub with a dozen strippers when he heard a crash it was Flitwick and Barnes. "Surrender now the rainbow alliance has you surrounded" Flitwick belched as he and Barnes began making out. Dumbledore manged to easily knock them out but before he could kill them Hagrid who was just done making love to his boyfriend Fang began charging at him. Dumbledore quickly castrated Barnes and Flitwick and threw their severed dicks at Hagrid who gave them to Fang for a treat. Hagrid bashed his head against the wall in frustration as Dumbledore apparated away.

Barnes and Flitwick no longer had a potion to make their bits grow back so they had to take others. They had James and Lily tied up and had already taken James manhood and were about to change Lily into a man that they could castrate when Dumbledore swang on a vine and rescued them as he lept out the window. After stopping to take a leak and a dump he killed James as he was to far gone and then bought a beer for himself and some onion rings for Lily. After arriving at his office he Wed Lily and decided to try and revive Cho as he watched Lily and Severus make out.


	50. Chapter 50

Flitwick and Barnes had sent Hagrid out to protest outside Dumbledore's office while they sneak in for an attempt to steal Dumbledore's wand. So while Hagrid rocked the streets Flitwick and Barnes slipped in and were able to enter the office. Dumbledore was in his hot tub with his newly resurrected girlfriend Cho Chang "catching up" as he liked to belch. The wand was laying on the desk forgotten so the duo quitley stole it. They were nearly out the door when they decided to check under Dumbledore's bed for some gadgets maybe even the dilluminator to steal. Barnes was checking under a pillow when Flitwick snuck up on him "Tickle fight" he belched with glee as he grabbed Barnes's ball sack and soon the two were naked and biting each other butt cheeks to see who had the more "tender arse" as they liked to say. There beloved game continued until they heard a notice and looked up nervously Dumbledore who was in his speedo was out of the hot tub and he was mad. "Dumbledore come back to the light" Flitwick pleaded with a belch as he leaned in for a kiss. Dumbledore kicked him through the chest collapsing the tiny wizard's lungs in the process Barnes managed to apparate to safety, but right before leaving Cho under Dumbledore's imperius curse threw a running chainsaw at them.

After arriving in their motel room hideout it became obvious to Flitwick that Barnes died trying to save him as he was chopped in half. "My husband died for me how romantic" he belch/sobbed as he made love to the remaining upper torso before they forced him to bury his husband.

A/N After my wife's death I realized now more than ever that I will update frequently so don't worry guys!


	51. Chapter 51

Dumbledore blasted his way through the reporters as he had just finished his speech where he declared Flitwick a wanted criminal. Just then there was a crash and Flitwick burst into the atrium with a mad gleam in his eye as he cut his way to Dumbledore who easily captured him. " go " he belched.

Later

Flitwick lay on a table belching in anger at having all of his skin cut off but he managed to summon his remaing strength and apparate away.

Later

Hagrid had completed the potion as Flitwick drank it he gained scale like armour to replace his skin he was now essentially a lizard. As he got used to his new skin he sent Hagrid to do his dirty work.

Later

Dumbledore heard a crash it was Hagrid dancing around naked with a knife in the middle of the ministry after taking a large dump in the fountain. Hagrid charged at Dumbledore who sidestepped him and the embarrassed half giant picked up Seamus Finnigan "you'll fetch a mighty fine price from my master" he belched just as his master does.

Flitwick gave Hagrid some crackers as a reward before getting busy with his new boyfriend Seamus who would also be his new apprentice.


	52. Chapter 52

Dumbledore was busy researching a dark ritual to help him dominate the world when his girlfriend Cho starting chewing him out about not spending enough time with her. Dumbledore ignored her before deciding to put her into a deep freeze rather than kill her. "Severus make sure the door is locked" said Dumbledore handing Snape the keys to the freezer. "Always" said Snape as Dumbledore clapped him on the back in a gesture of friendship. "Now that all that tender bullshit is over I can return to the task at hand as he sacrificed a freshly caught Hufflepuff by chopping his head off into the cauldron. The cauldron exploded and out stepped a new weapon the revived Harrison Black. "Mr. Black can you hear me" Harrison nodded and the two former rivals agreed to rule the world side by side. Dumbledore who was filled with joy gave Harrison a pat on the back and introduced him to Tracy Davis his new girlfriend. "I guess were even" Dumbledore chuckled as he unfroze Cho and climbed into the hot tub.

Meanwhile Flitwick was plotting a protest outside Hogwarts to distract Dumbledore while his faithful pet Hagrid would steal a book on how to revive the dead it was perfect.

Dumbledore heard a crash and knowing what that meant looked for Hagrid but he was gone having easily stolen the book.

Hagrid presented the book to his master who belched with glee. "Belch all you want now were is that dragon egg you promised me" Hagrid snarled. Flitwick began belching nervously as he had no egg because he didn't expect Hagrid to succeed. "you know what this means"Hagrid said gravely as he took out his potato peeler. "not that" Flitwick belched in a desperate attempt to seduce Hagrid to make love to him but it was too late as Hagrid flipped him over and skinned his arse clean down to the bone. Flitwick sobbed into the night until a house elf managed to knock him out and put a steel lid on to act as a temporary arse. "But soon I shall have the power of Barnes on my side" Fliwick belched.

Meanwhile Harrison and Dumbledore set out to stop Flitwick from obtaining the ingrediants and sacrifices needed to revive Barnes.


	53. Chapter 53

Flitwick had his sacrifices ready when he saw an inscription in the book that said if he added a black widow spider to the potion along with the sacrifices that he would gain three extra demons to do his bidding. So after slaughtering the Hufflepuff's he caught it was ready. As the black widow was added the potion simmered and then exploded. Outstepped Barnes and Flitwick had to control himself to not snog him senseless and make hot sweet juicy love to him right then and there. The mutants were three very small midgets each two feet tall and with a hideus mole on their face. "Hello hello im Jim Bob Jim Bob" one croaked. Flitwick raised his eyebrow as the rest told him there names each repeating certain things twice which really annoyed him. Then the song started "good morning our brand new papa we are his little army" Flitwick proceded to banish them to sort out later.

Just then Snape burst in and began dueling Flitwick and had soon easily disarmed to old man before turning to see Barnes dueling Lily. Lily easily disarmed her son and said "Crucio" as Barnes began screaming and foaming at the mouth. Just then a truck came plowing in driven by the little munchkins one operating the steering wheel the others pushing the gas pedals and operating the winsheild wipers. Snape and Lily dissaperated and Flitwick had a devilish grin on his face.

Dumbledore meanwhile was dueling Lavender Brown as he attempted to find out where Flitwick hid Cho after he had kidnapped her. Dumbledore who in his many rituals had a greatly diminished magical core was struggling and was repeatedly smashed into the wall. Finally Lavender disarmed him and was about to finish him off when Cho whom had escaped snuck up behind her and screamed "Avada Kedavra" and Lavender crumpled. After making out they apparated to headquarters to see how everyone else was doing and see if Harrison was ready to make the journey to Flitwicks hideout once and for all. "We will finish him" Dumbledore vowed as he slaughtered a street of muggles with the intent of selling their organs on the black market. Cho rolled her eyes "Boys" she said


	54. Chapter 54

Dumbledore had tracked down Flitwicks cave but he knew in his weakened state that he would need Harrison to help him kill the little shit and whatever was left of Barnes. Dumbledore was busy blasting the cave wall when there was a noice it was the little mutants that Flitwick created. Dumbledore did not have the strength to kill them anymore so he conjured a can which was the only thing he could muster. Dumbledore grinned looking at the apparently harmless can of green beans. "Oh oh no no we don't want ow ow" they sang as Dumbledore smashed their skulls with the can.

Three hours later.

Dumbledore got a few more smashes in on the long dead mutants and looked up to see a shocked Cho who was looking at him in horror and fear. "You better whip that look off your face before I do it for you" Dumbledore grinned as they made out. Dumbledore then saw Filch out of the corner of his eye and began dueling him and soon Dumbledore was disarmed and on the floor. Flitwick didn't see Cho behind him disarm him and soon she bound him in rope. Cho then rolled the dented can Dumbledore smashed the mutants with over to him and he grinned. Soon Dumbledore began smashing the can on Flitwick's face knocking his teeth out.

4 hours later

Flitwicks face was a bloody pulp and he was just groaning barely. Dumbledore decided to scope him up and head back to his office. A few hours later he had the roast prepared for his and Cho's romantic candle light dinner. Cho asked where the meat came from and Dumbledore just grinned looking at Flitwick who was barely alive and sitting at the table with no limbs. Dumbledore threw one last can at him which put a few more fractures in his skull which caused Cho to chuckle. Dumbledore then shrugged as Cho walked up to Flitwick and said in a bored voice "Avada Kedavra" and Flitwick fell off the stool as Cho put his remains over their wood fire. They then made out laughing and telling their favorite Flitwick jokes.

Barnes was still alive but he did not have a master to look up to now. After Dumbledore abandoned him he found his late husband Flitwick and learned much under him. Barnes decided he was no longer needing a master and he would take down Harrison and Dumbledore.


	55. Chapter 55

Dumbledore had sent his top assistant Harrison Black to conquer Asia and expand his empire. He had then sent Cho to fetch Snape and McGonagall. When they arrived Dumbledore welcomed them in as Cho sat on the arm of Dumbledore's throne. "Ahh Severus Minerva come hither I have grave news it appears Hogwarts will no longer allow me on the grounds the magic of the school will no longer allow me in. So as the new Supreme leader of Europe and Asia I appoint you co headmasters" Snape looked surprised it appeared Harrison had conquered Asia and the rest of Europe to be put under Dumbledore's control. "Kill all the mudbloods" Dumbledore screamed as Snape got excited while Minerva dropped her cane in shock in her 150 years she had never seen Dumbledore act like this where he wanted to kill muggleborns.

Later that night

Snape and Minerva addressed the students at the opening feast in the Great Hall. Minerva was in rage as she watched Snape cut down all the muggleborns as they were rounded up. Minerva then tried to save some of them but ended up engaging Snape in duel. "You mad Minerva mad that I'm better for Dumbledore's army than you" "I'm better for Hogwarts and all of its students I'm a better person fo all the students not just purebloods and billionaires. All purebloods do his hog money away from muggleborns. They make up 1 percent of the wizarding population and own 99 percent of the money" Snape laughed at the lie McGonagall was telling. "Draw your wand" McGonagall screamed as she pointed her wand at him. Snape laughed "then what you have all the remaining students call you mommy is that what you want sense nobody was brave enough to mate with you it's the next best thing" Snape taunted "Draw your wand" Minerva ordered again. "You will have to kill an unarmed man" said Snape handing his wand to her. "We can forget about this rebellion of yours and continue to be co headmasters and Dumbledore need never know easy does it" said Snape as he handed his wand over. Minerva McGonagall eyes widened as her hand closed around the wand while her other hand was about to kill Snape with her wand Snape seeing this quickly surprised her by pulling his potions knife out of his pocket and plunging it straight into her stomach and gutted her all the way past the breasts. Minerva collapsed as her organs fell out and Snape ripped his knife out "This was you not me" Just then the startled students turned around to see Dumbledore slowly clapping "Bravo Severus bravo" as he hugged Severus then he walked to the barely alive McGonagall "help me" she croaked. "With pleasure" said Dumbledore plunging his steel toe boot on her head and grinned when he heard a sharp crack. "Cho alert the house elves to vacume pack the traitor and the mud bloods Hogwarts has enough meat for years" he rejoiced as he and Cho made out.


	56. Chapter 56

Dumbledore thundered down the hall. He was furious someone had stolen his girlfriend Cho. Soon he came across the culprit it was Parvati Patil. "Hand her over bitch" Dumbledore thundered. Parvati went on that she would be released when Dumbledore surrendered. "Never" he cried as they began dueling. Within minutes Dumbledore was disarmed (his magical rituals had reduced his magical core to 1 tenth of one percent meaning his was equal to Ginny at full power) Parvati got on top of Dumbledore and stabbed his left eye out with a shard of glass. As Dumbledore screamed in fury he grabbed his wand and concentrated all of the magic he had left into conjuring an oxygen tank and hit her over the head with it.

Dumbledore leered down at Parvati "Look your nutjob sister is back I heard she used to con people into pity sex by telling them that she had cancer" Dumbledore cackled. He enjoyed making up stories especially of dead people to their relatives. Parvati tried to attack but Dumbledore smached her head with the oxygen tank and completely pulverized it. With another flick of his wand he conjured up an eye patch and a chainsaw. "I aint as good as I once was but im getting better" he grunted. Cho and him made out before Dumbledore chainsawed Patil for dinner. They enjoyed their Patil steaks in the ministers office as they rented an R rated chick flick.


	57. Chapter 57

Dumbledore, Snape, Harrison, and Cho were in the lab working on building Dumbledore a new body. The new body looked the same as the old one except new, with no replacement parts from the numerus limbs and extensions lost. The new body would also restore Dumbledore's magical core to full strength. The process required a muggle sacrifice and would move Dumbledore's soul into the new body.

8 hours later

As Dumbledore awoke in his new body he made out with Cho and looked around at his new restored body. Just then Dumbledore's old body got up and advanced on Snape menacingly "Gimme some sugar" Snape blasted it back. It then disappeared out a window. "What was that" Snape asked. "That was by alter ego a.k.a. the old me before I became a badass" he chuckled before testing out his new body with Cho.

The old Dumbledore sat outside a new cave before summoning Barnes. When Barnes arrived he was stunned to his old master alive and well and his usual self. "We must stop this new me before it is too late" old Dumbledore psychobelched madly. Before Barnes could respond he was flipped ovr for some figerlicking fun.

8 days later.

Barnes woke up with old Dumbledore still fast asleep. Slowly getting out of bed to not wake him he was pulled back in for some "fun". When they were finished Dumbledore had an idea on how to defeat Harrison and New Dumbledore. Two hours later a big cauldron sat on the floor of Dumbledore and Barnes's bedroom. Dumbledore added the heads of Molly, Ginny, and Ronald. Barnes let out a tear when he saw his former betrothed head but Dumbledore punched him and told him to get over it as they would be having revenge soon and fun later.

The cauldron exploded and out stepped a giant scorpion about 8 feet tall with the heads of Ginny and Ronald as pinchers and Molly as a stinger tail. "It's alive" Dumbledore systematically hyper-pschobelched. Dumbledore cracked his Weasleysourusrex with his whip he conjured before putting a saddle on. Barnes waited for Dumbledore to get on but Dumbledore threw Barnes on before plugging himself in for the jourey. "Wee" Dumbledore psychobelched madly into the night. "The light will rise" "Your move Black, other me"


	58. Chapter 58

Barnes was happy to have the real Dumbledore back. As they rode the Weasley scorpion Dumbledore cracked the beast with his whip to go faster. After unplugging himself from Barnes Dumbledore hopped off the scorpion and looked around. They were in a western desert and surrounded by people in cowboy hats. Dumbledore realized they needed money for food. "Ill work at this farm to get money" said Barnes looking at a sign. "You will do no such thing" said Dumbledore as he punched Barnes in the neck. Dumbledore looked at another sign. "I will enter this boxing match and earn 500 smackers which will be used to feed us, see daddy Dumbles provides now give me some sugar" Dumbledore said as he and Barnes shared a kiss.

2 hours later

Dumbledore stepped into the ring which was in the center of the salon confidently proclaiming certain victory. Soon his opponent stepped in whom was much bigger and stronger. Dumbledore eyed him with a hungry expression. The opponent laughed at the frail old man. The bell rang and the match started Dumbledore immediately lent in for a kiss and got a straight hook that sent him flying through the window and crumple in a heap. Dumbledore upon waking up went in to demand his money but was thrown out. "And stay out" the Salon keeper said. Dumbledore mooned them before burning the salon to the ground. Luckily he met new friend in Greyback and Scabier whom shared food with them.

As Dumbledore lay curled up with Greyback , Scabier, and Barnes he heard a noise. It was the New Dumbledore and he had them surrounded. "We piss our pants yet" he said mockingly. "No" said old Dumbledore proudly. "It was a rhetorical question" Barnes told him. New Dumbledore approached them "I know if I kill you you will come back so ill kill you" he said as he lept at Barnes with his tennis racket strung with barbed wire which killed him. He then killed Scabier and Greyback before chopping off old Dumbledore's leg. As he left old Dumbledore wept. Just then his Weasley scorpion appeared and saved him. Dumbledore then got the last salami stick out of Scabier's bag and put in on to replace his leg. The salami leg only had a few bite taken out of it. "The light will rise", Dumbledore systematically psychobelched into the night as he rode off.


	59. Chapter 59

The old Dumbledore belched as he woke up from his sleep and put out his campfire. He had revenge on his mind soon he charged on his Weasley scorpion. Soon Hogwarts was in view.

The new Dumbledore was interegating a new first year to join the quiddich team. "If you dont sign up you wont be offered again basically there is no quiddich in your future", just then Old Dumbledore blew through the wards and began attacking the school. Harrison managed to blow Dumbledores hair off soon. Hannah Abbot overpowered him and put him in jail. He was trapped in the dungeons with no meals for a week while new Dumbledore thought of a plan for him. Until then the school would have to listen to his loud belching.

Later that night five first years snuck down to the dungeon to see ild Dumbledore. When they saw him belching in his sleep they pocked him through the bars with a hot poker on his arse. Dumbledore let out a belch of pain and suffering before turning into belches of anger. He vowed to have his revenge as he ripped the cell door off. Just as he was about to eat their manhood his arch rival Hannah Abbott blasted him back in. Dumbledore gave the boys a look that promised pain and doom before belching in amusement. He would have revenge. Soon the world would be belching with him he hoped and belched. As he hopped in the air he flued himself to the ceiling to sleep so if anyone tried to come into his cell he would pounce on and make love to them. He belched diabolicaly.


	60. Chapter 60

As the young Hufflepuff that was assigned to bring Dumbledore his bucketof slop opened his cell he was attacked by Dumbledore whom was hiding on the celing. As Dumbledore pelted him with wet kisses all that could be seen was red. Soon Dumbledore escaped as he threw the corpse into the ground asit exploded in a shower of gore.

The school was on alert as Dumbledore was seen chasing people with a bamboo stick. He stole Hannah Abbotts wand and was about to perform a few highly illegal charms when he was punched by Abbott. Hannah was to strong and he belched in pain as he was beat up by the stupid puff. Dumbledore was able to tickle his way to safety. As he apparated to his cave he lost his eyes and got 2 magical eyes like moody had. They made an x on his forehead from the leather straps. Dumbledore belched in delight as he hid them under two eye patches.


End file.
